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\ llr-A^DlES' HOME JOURNAL
' GIRLS' LIBRARY

I '

THE

BUSINESS GIRL

EVERY PHASE OF HER LIFE

RUTH ASHMORE ^ e . , ^,

OF THE EDITORIAL STAFF OF THE LADIES*
HOME JOURNAL

PHILADELPHIA

CURTIS PUBLISHING
COMPANY

NEW YORK

DOU

i;bI EDAV & \
jCLURE cO. I

THE NEW YOR:

IpubliclieraryI
104003

A8TOR, LFNOX AND
TILDE N FOUNDATIONS.

1898

Copyrighted^ i8gjf iSgdj iSgy, i8g8f
By The Curtis Publishing Compan

• • . • •
• • •

•,• •

• • • • . , »

» • .

TO THE BUSINESS GIRL

/ dedicate this little book to the business girl because
she is one of my best friends as well as the girl
whom I honor and respect. She is invariably
unselfish^ sharing her earnings with some one less
able to struggle with the workaday world than she
is. Her mistakes are rather the result of thought-
lessness than of a desire for wrong-doing, I wish
for her the greatest happiness that can come to a
woman — a laving husband^ a happy home^ and a
group of affectionate children,

R. A.

A PREFATORY WORD TO MY

GIRLS

Few prefaces are continuations of a
dedication. But in making my wish for
the business girl, I do not mean to neglect
the girl who, for some reason best known
to herself, does not marry ; that girl who
never meets her ideal, or, meeting him,
feels that, notwithstanding his love, she
cannot burden him with her responsibili-
ties. The old mother, the invalid sister,
or the brother who never finds success in
life, may unconsciously make a married life
an unmated one. So to the girl who does
not marry I say, " There is, after all, hard
as duty may seem, an absolute pleasure in
succeeding in doing it There may come

viii A Prefatory Word

to you some lonely hours, but they are not
hours filled with regret or made sad by the
remembrance of duties unfulfilled. Cheer
up, my busy girl, and believe with me that
for every duty done, for every pleasure
given here, there will be in the hereafter
pleasures and rewards indescribable. Make
hope and honesty the watchwords of your
life, and that life will be like a perfect
flower-garden, generous with its rich colors
and sweet perfume to the one who is only
a passerby."

Very cordially, your friend,

Ruth Ashmore.

CONTENTS

Paos

What Honesty ix Bcsixess Meaxs ... 1

The Girl's Relations with Her Employer 15

Life in a Boarding-House 29

Haying a Familiar Friend 43

Proper Care op Her Wardrobe .... 57

Her Money, and what to Do with It . 72

Her Social Position 86

When She Goes to Church 105

In Her Time of Sorrow 119

Her Best Reading 134

When Vacation Comes 149

Her Evening Enjoyment 163

WHAT HONESTY IN
BUSINESS MEANS

THE girl who must, perforce, earn her
living is my dearest friend, for whom
I hope much and fear more. All day long
she is kept busy. It may be that her fin-
gers are playing on the keys of the type-
writer ; that her pen is keeping up a debit
and credit page; that she is selling beau-
tiful materials, or doing one of any of the
thousand things that are the business of
the girl out in the workaday world. She
wrote to me not long ago and said, "It is
very easy for you to tell us what to do ;
you don't have to get up early in the
morning, hurry through your breakfast,
Btay in an office all day long and be too
dead tired when evening comes to enjoy
yourself." Now, my dear girl, I have had
every bit of that to do, and because I know

2 What Honesty in

what it all is I want you to make you
not only as good as possible but as
as possible. And when I say easy 1 1
easy in the right way. You are noi
only woman who has to work — no m
how hard your work may seem the
always somebody else whose work is hi
and whose life is sadder. Therefore,
up your burden with a smile, and 3^01
be surprised to find how much easier it
carry. Arm yourself with hope, and
if to-day seems one of trouble you can
about to-morrow and hope that it wi
pleasanter, and so, thinking on your
cies, the sun will eventually set on the
longest day and it will come to an end
sermon ? Just a bit of a one, because
do make mistakes and you should re
them. You can do this, because thoi
mistake is possible, no matter how cs
one may be, still a mistake need n(
repeated.

Text of the Sermon

If there is one it should be that your
is as good as your bond. Consequentl;

Business Means 3

are going to be an honest worker. You
shrug your shoulders and look disdainful,
and wonder who it was that ever dared call
you dishonest. Well, I do. This morn-
ing you were due at your desk at eight
o'clock; you got there at a quarter past,
and it took you another quarter of an hour
to get your wraps off and to get settled at
your work. Stolen by one busy woman —
one-half hour of her employer's time.
Now, my friend, I have been through it all,
and I know it is just as easy to get up at
half-past six as it is at a quarter of seven,
and then it i^ much more to your credit
to be known as a worker who is alwaj^s
punctual.

That was a mean thing you said, — that
at your office they don't deduct if you are a
little late. We were not talking about that,
we were talking about honesty, and I am
putting it in plain language because pure,
unadulterated Saxon is good for us all once
in awhile, and you are a thief. That is the
long and short of it. Then, after you have
been working a little while, the telephone
bell rings. You are doing some important

2 What Honesty in

what it all is I want you to make your li
not only as good as possible but as ea
as possible. And when I say easy I me
easy in the right way. You are not t
only woman who has to work — no mati
how hard your work may seem there
always somebody else whose work is hard
and whose life is sadder. Therefore, ta
up your burden with a smile, and you w
be surprised to find how much easier it is
carry. Arm yourself with hope, and th
if to-day seems one of trouble you can thii
about to-morrow and hope that it will
pleasanter, and so, thinking on your m(
cies, the sun will eventually set on the ve
longest day and it will come to an end.

•

sermon ? Just a bit of a one, because y
do make mistakes and you should recti
them. You can do this, because though
mistake is possible, no matter how carel
one may be, still a mistake need not
repeated.

Text of the Sermon

If there is one it should be that your wo
is as good as your bond. Consequently y

Business Means 3

4 What Honesty in

work ; you stop right in the midst of it b(
cause the boy tells you that you are callec
A frieud of yours in another office ha
rung you up to hear whether you are goin
out to-night and to ask if you have a pa
tern of that bodice that you wore last Fr
day afternoon. It is bad, very bad. No^
if you wish to be honest make up your min
that, during business hours, you will hav
no personal conversations over the teU
phone, and also decide that your personi
letters shall be addressed to your hom(
while you make it a point to tell yoi
friends tiiat you decline all visits, that i
all social visits, at the office. That pla
is n't hired for social purposes, nor are y
employed there to wile away the few i
moments that come, either with a yeli
covered book or with crochet.

By the b}', beware of drifting int
morning gossip with your employer. V
you go to him for orders or to submit
work, say all that is necessary, but no
It may interest him to know that Tom,
or Harry in the outer office has a sweet
but it is not your business to tell hi

Business Means 5

bit of news. He may listen to your account
of how Miss Black shirks her work or gets
some of the men to help her; but though
Miss Black may not gain his good opinion,
neither will you. In an extensive experi-
ence I have never known the tale-bearer in
an office to be thought of except contempt-
uously, even by the people who listened to
her and whose favor she has tried to win.

About Yourself Persoxalli

What care do you take ? It ought to be
good if you wish to be honest. You owe it
to your employer that, as far as possible,
you should be in condition to work when
you are at the office. Now, if you danced
in an over-heated room until four o'clock in
the morning, do you think you will be able
to work with a clear head at eight? The
figures will be dancing before you, your
head wi^l be aching until you feel as if it
would split, and in your heart you will be
envying every girl who does not have to
work as you do, and never once will j^ou
dream of confessing that you took your
pleasure improperly. My dear girl, to do

6 What Honesty in

your work honestly you must arrange youi
pleasures so that they will at least end
before twelve o'clock. You tell one of the
other clerks very confidentially that youi
"^ nerves are all broken to pieces, and yoi

start with fright if anybody speaks to yoi
suddenly. And the cause? Well, it is noi
often overwork.

Sometimes it is an improper way of liv

ing; sometimes it is an improper way o:

dressing; sometimes an improper way o1

eating; and very often it is a combinatioi

1 of all three. The young man who sa

opposite you at the breakfast-table at<

some sort of grain, a chop, an egg, som(

j potatoes, and a cup of coffee, while yoi

. played with a piece of toast and grumblec

I because the tea wasn't stronger. Phys

\ ically, you have commenced your da;

wrong. The brain and the stomach worl

in harmony, and one rebels when the othe

; is n't properly cared for. At noon • yoi

have an hour. You rush out, eat a lun

.1 cheon composed mainly of sweet things, am

go back to the office and spend the rest o

your hour either in reading or fancy-work

;

Business Means 7

Nov, even if you can't have more than a
piece of bread and butter and a glass of
milk, the food should be nourishing, and
you ought to stay out in the fresh air for
the remainder of your time, even if you
only amuse yourself by looking in the shop
windows. For that time should be a rest
to yoa and a change, consequently you
should be where the air is different and
where your eyes will look upon different
sights than those before you in the oflSce.
About your clothes. A silk gown is very
charming.' It is feminine, it is becoming,
and every woman likes to have one, but
after the silk gown is gotten and the dress-
maker's bill is paid, how about your flannel
nnderwear? Would the rheumatism be
quite so bad, or would* that pain in your
shoulder come quite so often, if you were
properly dressed ? And would n't the wool
gown be just as becoming, and wouldn't
you be a great deal more comfortable, if
you wore it and the proper underwear
instead of the silk frock and poor, thin
and miserable undergarments? I sympa-
thize with you in your desire to look pretty,

8 What Honesty in

but you can look quite as pretty and
a great deal more comfortable in a 1
expensive gown.

The Dangerous Land

I mean that one of Bohemia which see
to you so attractive. In reality it is
country of which you should not become
citizen. No matter whether your frier
call you a prude or not, do not permit 1
social side of your life to degenerate int(
free and easy condition where no resp
is shown to you as a woman. In Boher
there may be some laughter, bat be s
there are many tears. In that land
would probably spend all your wage?
one day of festivity, and be a beg
or worse still, a bbrrower for the re?
the week. In that land a woman
one fine frock, too fine for her po
in life, and during the working houF
looks untidy and always suggestive,
shabby finery, of a gay girl rather
well-bred woman, which is what tt
girl should aim to be. In Bohem
claimed there is a jolly good-fellows

Business Means 9

nothing else, between men and women.

You don't want to be a jolly good fellow.

You want to be a woman who is respected,

not only because of her sex but because of

herself, and the free and easy life in which

a man offers a woman a cigarette, and she

volunteers to get for him something that he

counts more cheerful than a cup of tea, is

one which my busy girl does not want to

live. If for no other reason this would be

one. In Bohemia all women must be young

and beautiful, and you are not going to be

. that forever. So make for yourself a social

world that will be enjoyable, that will be

pleasant, but where you will be liked when

youth and beauty have gone, because of the

good that is in you mentally and spiritually.

Employer and Employee

It is possible that you are the one woman
in an oflSce where there are many men, and
you wonder a little as to the position j^ou
should occupy toward these men. I will
tell you what I think is best. Be cordial,
be pleasant, never forget the morning and
the evening salutation, and never forget

lo What Honesty in

that little phrase, " Thank you," in recog-
nition of any courtesy, but — this may
seem hard to you, but time will prove it is
wisest — let your business and your social
life be separate. If you meet your fellow--
employees on the street, or in a public place,
bow pleasantly, but let that be all. Aud^
if — I must say this because so many girlff-
have asked me about it — any of the men
in the office speak or act in a way that is
too familiar without your having encouraged
it, report it at once to your employer, and
if he does n't put a stop to it leave the
place. Your self-respect demands it, but
be sure, my dear girl, before you do this,
that you have n't either by a laugh, or in
some other way, given a quiet encourage-
ment to these familiarities, — for remember
that what you do not discourage you en-
courage.

The Whole Day Long

It must be tiresome to stand behind the
counter the whole day long and wait upon
women whom you think more fortunate
tlian yourself. But does this excuse your

Business Means ii

being indifferent to them? Does this excuse
your unwillingness to show the goods you
are put there to sell ? Of course your be-
havior explains why you seldom get beyond
being the girl behind the counter. In shops
where men are employed as salesmen it is
a fact that in nine times out of ten the new
man starts in to learn all about the stock.
Then he is able to tell his customers which
is best and which is newest. And Mrs.
Millionnaire, who spends many hundred
dollars at that one place, says, "I'll wait
until that dark young man is disengaged ;
I prefer to have him attend to me." This is
reported to the superintendent, and in time
the dark young man is promoted, and his
promotions go on and on and on until he
occupies a position of importance, and all
because he was willing to take a little
trouble. Why don't you do this? How
many special customers have you? I deal
at one store where, when I wish either a
yard of ribbon or a bolt of it, I invariably
wait for one young girl. She has taken
the trouble to uijderstand her business, and
within two years she has been promoted

8 What Honesty in

but you can look quite as pretty and be
a great deal more comfortable in a less
expensive gown.

The Dangerous Land

I mean that one of Bohemia which seems
to you so attractive. In reality it is a
country of which you should not become a
citizen. No matter whether your friends
call you a prude or not, do not permit the
social side of your life to degenerate into a
free and easy condition where no respect
is shown to you as a woman. In Bohemia
there may be some laughter, bat be sure
there are many tears. In that land you
would probably spend all your wages in
one day of festivity, and be a beggar,
or worse still, a bbrrower for the rest of
the week. In that land a woman buys
one fine frock, too fine for her position
in life, and during the working hours she
looks untidy and always suggestive, by her
«habby finery, of a gay girl rather than a
well-bred woman, which is what the busy
^1 should aim to be. In Bohemia it is
claimed there is a jolly good-fellowship, and

Business Mean? TJ

I believe that it comes from me to yoa
from one who loves to those who are
7ed. Take a sponge and wipe off the
ate of your life the small and the mean"-
listakes. Wipe off the petty pride that •
nakes you think that because you work f or '
jTour living the world looks down upon yoo. -
It does n't. It respects you, and it is proud "
of you as long as you do your work well
and honestly, and it is only ashamed of you
when you shirk it or seem ashamed of it

Sponge out that other mean pride that
won't let you confess your ignorance or say
that you have done wrong. There is some*
thing fine in a woman who can apologize.
She stands, mentally, head and shoulders
above her who does wrong and trusts that
time will make the wrong forgotten. She
who confesses the wrong and makes the
apology, no matter how she may suffer, is
a queen beside the woman who receives the
apology in a grudging, half-hearted way.
Take my little sermon in the loving spirit
in which it has been given. Tlie preacher
means to be kind, and if some of the words
seem a little severe it is because she feels

12 What Honesty in

twice, and now she is hoping to be m sid^
ribbon buyer. But in my entire acqa ^
ance among girls behind the counter ^
gret to say that she is the only one 1 1-^
who has thought it worth while to look: j
the future.

You say you expect to get marrie
That is right, and I hope you will, but y
will be just so much more desirable as
wife if you are good as a worker. And
thoughtless, flippant employee is going
make a very bad mistress for a house,
respect the working-girl very much, becau
in nine cases out of ten she is not worki
only for herself. There is nothing fi
than a noble woman, and the girl wh<
giving a helping hand to those whose y
are many, whose working days are all
over, deserves not only your and my a]
bation, but she also deserves to be tc
her small mistakes, for they are smr
that she may be a better woman ever
of her life.

No matter how long it may be, t
of the aennon always comes ; but I
joa to take to heart what I ha

Business Mean? TJ

and believe that it comes from me to yoa
as from one who loves to those who are
loved. Take a sponge and wipe off the-
slate of your life the small and the mean'^'
mistakes. Wipe off the petty pride that ^
makes you think that because you work f or *
your living the world looks down upon you. -
It does n't. It respects you, and it is proud?"
of you as long as you do your work well
and honestly, and it is only ashamed of you
when you shirk it or seem ashamed of it.

Sponge out that other mean pride that
won't let you confess your ignorance or say
that you have done wrong. There is some*
thing fine in a woman who can apologize.
She stands, mentally, head and shoulders
above her who does wrong and trusts that
time will make the wrong forgotten. She
who confesses the wrong and makes the
apol<^y, no matter how she may suffer, is
a queen beside the woman who receives the
apology in a grudging, half-hearted way.
Take, my little sermon in the loving spirit
in which it has been given. Tlie preacher
aeuis to be kind, and if some of the words
a little severe it is because she feels

12 What Honesty in

twice, and now slf-e is hoping to be made the
ribbon buyer. Buf m my entire acquaint-
ance among girls behiM the counter I re-
gret to say that she is the ot^J ^^^ ^ know
who has thought it worth whileftS.^^^ ^^^
the future.

You say you expect to get iiiJF"®^
That is right, and I hope you will, biT y^^
will be just so much more desirable ^ *
wife if you are good as a worker. A?^*
thoughtless, flippant employee is goin^^ ^
make a very bad mistress for a house.' ^
respect the working-girl very much, becuV®
in nine cases out of ten she is not work#*8
only for herself. There is nothing imp
than a noble woman, and the girl who ^
giving a helping hand to those whose yef™
are many, whose working days are alm<i>8t
over, deserves not only your and my ap|iro-
bation, but she also deserves to be toUl of
her small mistakes, for they are small, so
that she may be a better woman every (lay
of her life.

No matter how long it may be, the c^nd
of the sermon always comes ; but I woi]Jd
like you to take to heart what I have said.

Business Mean? TJ

md believe that it comes from me to yoa
is from one who loves to those who are
oved. Take a sponge and wipe off the.
late of your life the small and the mean'?"
aistakes. Wipe off the petty pride that ^
aakes you think that because you work for '
oor living the world looks down upon yoo. •
t does n't. It respects you, and it is proud •
f you as long as you do your work well
.nd honestly, and it is only ashamed of you
rhen you shirk it or seem ashamed of it

Sponge out that other mean pride that
ron't let you confess your ignorance or say
hat you have done wrong. There is some*
ihing fine in a woman who can apologize.
Jhe stands, mentally, head and shoulders
ibove her who does wrong and trusts that
ime will make the wrong forgotten. She
vho confesses the wrong and makes the
ipology, no matter how she may suffer, is
I queen beside the woman who receives the
ipology in a grudging, half-hearted way.
Take my little sermon in the loving spirit
n which it has been given. Tlie preacher
Deans to be kind, and if some of the words
eem a little severe it is because she feels

ii4 What Honesty In Business Means

•as a mother would to her many children,
•~and counting these busy girls as her chil-
'•dren she reprimands them so that they may
he the finer and the better from seeing the
"wrong, knowing just how mean it is, and
•choosing to do that which is right. Let
your account- book have this upon its last
page: Credit Theodora with a strong de-
sire to do right to God and man.

THE GIRL'S RELATIONS WITH
HER EMPLOYER

THE girl who, day in and day out, sits
in a comfortable oflSce where there
are other girls, has her work planned out
for her, and is only asked that she do it
with great exactness, is, least of all, the
girl who requii'es advice. This girl, though
she may sometimes tire of the monotony of
her labor, is protected by the girls around
her, and to her there do not come — at
least not often — such temptations as way-
lay another kind of worker.

You know the girl I mean. The girl
with a big brain, a heart to match, young
in years, of a gay, happy nature, eager to
do the most, and who finds her work almost
exclusively among men. She is the girl
who has cried out to me for a word of
advice; she is the girl, who, making one
little mistake, follows it up with greater

1 6 The Girl's Relations

ones, until she becomes a hard-faced, pessi*
mistic woman, who finds nothing good ort
earth, and has but little hope of heaven.
She is the girl who began wrong, and I
want her not only to think over what I say-
to her, but to stop and consider whether
she is acting in a way that will result in the
best for her future.

The Girl Whose Work is of a Speciai,

Kind

Katharine is young and handsome. The
need has arisen for her to earn her living ;
it is possible that she has studied stenog-
raphy, that she understands bookkeeping,
but whether she does or not, a kind friend
has obtained a position for her in the office
of a well-known business man. Before
going to business that first day she wept
tears of joy as she bade her mother good-
by, because she was so happy to be of use
in the world and so glad to have such
a good opportunity. That day Katharine
makes her first mistake. She goes to busi-
ness in a bright and attractive gown, with.

with Her Employer 17

her hair elaborately arranged, wearing all
the dainty little bits of jewelry that she
would assume if she were going out for a
shopping trip at eleven o'clock. She cer-
tainly makes a pretty picture, but not one
suited to the early hours of the morning.
Katharine may learn to remedy this mis-
take ; she may realize in time that a dark,
simple, well-made and well-fitting frock is
what a girl should wear at business, and
that jewelry is as much out of place in an
office as it is in church. The folly of over-
dressing, Katharine may learn to overcome,
and if she does she will take a long step in
the right direction.

The Mistakes Which She Makes

Her employer meets her pleasantly, her
work is explained to her, and, being quick-
minded, she realizes that she will be able,
without much trouble, to satisfy the people
who have employed her. She goes home
at night full of enthusiasm about her work,
and tells to the listening mother of the
happy busy days that she expects to have.

1 6 The Girl's Relations

ones, until she becomes a hard-faced, p
mistic woman, who finds nothing goo
earth, and has but little hope of hej
' She is the girl who began wrong, a

want her not only to think over what '.
to her, but to stop and consider wh-
she is acting in a way that will result ii
best for her future.

The Girl Whose Work is of a Spi

Kind

Katharine is young and handsome,
need has arisen for her to earn her li^
it is possible that she has studied stc
raphy, that she understands bookkee]
but whether she does or not, a kind f
has obtained a position for her in the •
of a well-known business man. B<
going to business that first day she
tears of joy as she bade her mother ^
by, because she was so happy to be ol
in the world and so glad to have
a good opportunity. That day Kath
makes her first mistake. She goes to
ness in a bright and attractive gown,

with Her Employer 17

The Mistakes Which She Makes

1 8 The Girl's Relations

Her working days may be happy. [
rests with Katharine. If she is wise
discovers in a short time the desirabilit
quiet dressing, of a simple coiffure, am
the omission of all jeweh'y, except the
at her throat and the watch at her belt,
she is not wise she will make her toilet i
and more elaborate, and be pleased to
that she is known in the office building,
building where there are hundreds of i
as ' ' the stylish-looking girl in Bla
office." One of the clerks tells her of
and foolish Katharine laughs, looks pie;
and concludes that she is able to b
much-longed-for article of dress, sin<
course, she must keep up her reputj
Then, when she has five minutes t
self, or in the time before she beg'
work, she forgets that she is born o
of gentlewomen, and she laughs a'
with one of the clerks, or assists in
a joke on the office boy. After thi?
any right to be offended if the (
whom she has been so " chumm^
what he calls it) addresses her b
name?

with Her Employer 19

Learning not to Talk about Herself

Or else she may do something equally
Billy in these odd minutes, — that is, try to
impress upon her listeners the fact that her
family was once wealthy, and that she never
dreamed, when she was a schoolgirl, that
she would have to work. Poor Katliarine !
She forgets that a well-bred woman never
talks of such things ; by her behavior alone
she shows what her breeding has been.

Or she may do something else that is not
nice. Katharine, being interested in ever}^-
thing and everybody, comes to business with
an aching head and tells of her physical
woes. Out in this bus}^ world there is no
time for people who are ill. If Katharine
cannot do her work she would better stay
at home, for down in the office she must not
dilate on her pains, nor tell of special home
remedies and their certainty to cure. She
is hired to work, not to talk.

A man busy in deciding important ques-
tions does not want to hear an endless
chatter on this order: " I never closed my
eyes all night, and when morning came 1

22 The Girl's Relations

pathetic wife, of a woman who, giving him
no love, he has grown to dislike. And
Katharine, in her ignorance, listens and
sympathizes with him. And then there
comes a day when, because half the morn-
ing has been wasted in talking about these
private affairs, Katharine is detained beyond
her luncheon hour, and when the work is
finished her employer, looking at his watch,
says, " Why, Miss Gray, it 's way past
your luncheon hour ; you 'd better come out
and take a lunch with me." And Katha-
rine, thinking of her luncheon brought
from home, now dry and tasteless, con-
cludes that there will be no harm in accept-
ing the invitation. She argues with herself
that this man is in the same set socially
that she is — indeed, she goes among people
with whom his wife would be proud to asso-
ciate ; so why should she decline to go out
to luncheon with him?

At night she tells her mother, and the
mother, picturing the employer as a kind,
elderly gentleman, regards it as another
evidence of her girl's ability to work well
and make friends, for her employer to be

with Her Employer 2i

A man whom she knows socially. And so,
one morning when be seems a bit downcast,
she ventures to ask if he is worried. He
answers her pleasantly, tells her there is
no worry that she can remedy and there
is nothing wrong about her work. She
grows to watch his face each day to see if
he is in an agreeable or an unhappy mood.
One word of sympathy, spoken by her,
is like the electric button that starts many
a train down the roadway to destruction.
Soon finding that she is eager to have him
feel pleased; that she is interested, simply
just now, because she is a human being, in
his welfare, he answers in a semi-affection-
ate, semi-paternal tone, ' ' How can any
man be happy when his life is like mine ? "
And tender-hearted Katharine whispers in
a very feeling tone, " Oh, I 'm so sorry that
you 're miserable ! " That is the beginning.

Errors Which She Drifts into so Easily

As the days go on, instead of dictating
his letters to her, or telling her of the work
on the books of which she has the care, he
tells her of his unhappy life — of an unsym-

24 The Girl's Relations

belongings, says good-by quietly to her
employer, and goes home and tells her
story to her mother. And both of them,
being good women, will thank God that-
Katharine has discovered her mistake in
time, for now, though she will have to start
out afresh, yet she will be a stronger girl
and a better girl, because, although she has
made mistakes, she has realized what they
were and what they were leading her into.

The Right Wat to Behave

I want you to understand exactly what I
mean. I want you to realize that though
you may meet your employer socially, still
during the hours that you are in the office
you are employed by him, and you have no
right to claim, and he has no right to ask,
any social recognition. ' You can always be
polite ; you need not be hard-hearted, and
there can be, without harm, an exchange of
pleasant words. But during business hours
therp is wisdom in attending to your busi-
ness and doing nothing else. Your self-
respect should not allow you to be free in
jvour manner with the different clerks who

with Her Employer 2j

BO considerate of her, and regards his in-
terest as being no more than she deserves.

In a little while the going out to luncheon
.^with her employer becomes nothing un-
common. Soon, after a remark made by
Katharine about her liking of flowers, there
comes to her many a pretty posy and many
a big box of blossoms, always to the office,
at which the clerks smile, and, looking at
them, the office boy does not hesitate to
giggle. And Katharine flushes and tosses
her head, and says to herself, '' There 's no
harm in it ! " But there is harm in it, my
Katharine, there is much harm in it.

A Girl Must Maintain Her Self-respect

No man has a right to tell any woman of
any lack, real or fancied, which exists in
his married life. And you have no right,
you busy working-girl, to attempt to arrange
a social position between yourself and your
employer. The day comes when both
Katharine and her employer realize that
they care too much for each other. Then,
if Katharine is a brave girl and a good girl,
6he closes her desk, takes home her little

26 The GirFs Relations

from him. I do not mean that all men are
bad. Again, I thank God there are thou-
sands of good men, but masculine human
nature is weak, and when things have gone
wrong at home there is an immense satis-
faction to the average man in getting a
sweet sympathy, which he probably does
not deserve, from a pretty, charming girl
who believes in him. One girl asked me
what she should say when her employer
*' comes down a little late, is cross, speaks
shortly, slams things around, ferrets out
mistakes, and exposes them to the whole
force, displays very little patience, and
keeps the surrounding atmosphere so warm
that pretty soon each occupant of the office
is aflfected by his mood." Say nothing.
Do your own work quietly and composedly.
If you are spoken to, answer simply, telling
the truth ; but it is not the business of the
working-girl to persuade her employer into
a good temper. If he is ill-bred enough to
vent his own ugliness on innocent people,
be sure that he will be more likely to respect
you if you work steadily and say nothing
than if you try to conciliate him and per-

with Her Employer 27

suade him into amiability. You are hired
to work, not to eater to the emotions of
your employer, and when you are doing
your work faithfully you are doing all that
you are paid for.

A Few Last Words

Perhaps you think I have spoken rather
more plainly to you than usual, but, my dear
girls, I have done it because I see the need
for plain speaking. It is so easy when you
are young and pretty, and long for the good
things of life, to drift into a flower-covered
path that leads — where ? Therefore, you
must learn, you brave, busy girls, to look at
life as it is ; to see it truthfully, and to realize
where the flower-covered path will lead you
and in what it will end. The other path
may seem harder to walk on; it may offer
few attractions, but if you look closely at it
you will find that along the sides there are
little blossoms that do not fade quickly, like
the more brilliant exotic ones — blossoms
that bring happiness into life. There are
the blossoms of self-respect, of duty done,
of knowledge gained, of honesty, and, best

26 The Girl's Relations

from him. I do not mean that all men are
bad. Again, I thank God there are thou-
sands of good men, but masculine human
nature is weak, and when things have gone
wrong at home there is an immense satis-
faction to the average man in getting a
sweet sympathy, which he probably does
not deserve, from a pretty, charming girl
who believes in him. One girl asked me
what she should say when her employer
*' comes down a little late, is cross, speaks
shortly, slams things around, ferrets out
mistakes, and exposes them to the whole
force, displays very little patience, and
keeps the surrounding atmosphere so warm
that pretty soon each occupant of the office
is affected by his mood." Say nothing.
Do your own work quietly and composedly.
If you are spoken to, answer simply, telling
the truth ; but it is not the business of the
working-girl to persuade her employer into
a good temper. If he is ill-bred enough to
vent his own ugliness on innocent people,
be sure that he will be more likely to respect
you if you work steadily and say nothing
than if you try to conciliate him and per-

with Her Employer 27

3 him into amiability. You are hired
ork, not to eater to the emotions of
employer, and when you are doing
• work faithfully you are doing all that
are paid for.

A Few Last Words

erhaps you think I have spoken rather
e plainly to you than usual, but, my dear
5, I have done it because I see the need
plain speaking. It is so easy when you
young and pretty, and long for the good
igs of life, to drift into a flower-covered
1 that leads — where ? Therefore, you
jt learn, you brave, busy girls, to look at
as it is ; to see it truthfully, and to realize
jre the flower-covered path will lead you

in what it will end. The other path
r seem harder to walk on ; it may offer

attractions, but if you look closely at it

will find that along the sides there are
e blossoms that do not fade quickly, like

more brilliant exotic ones — blossoms
b bring happiness into life. There are
blossoms of self-respect, of duty done,
mowledge gained, of honesty, and, best

28 The Girl's Relations etc.

of all, there is that never-fading flowe:i
true womanliness. Which path are
going to take? You cannot afford to l:j
tate. And there is no middle road. Son
times you may have walked a little way
that path of folly and then turned bac
If you have done this, give never-ceasi
thanks for your salvation. But think it
out, and, giving it the thought it shoi
have, take the right path at first, the pa
that ends in love and happiness here a:
hereafter.

LIFE IN A BOARDING-HOUSE

THE girl was pretty and pleasant, but
there came a sad look over her face
as she said, " I 'm a stranger in the city and
a homeless girl — I live in a boarding-
house." There was no necessity to tell me
anything more. I could see the room and
the ascent to it. The first flight of stairs
bright with a new carpet that seemed to
suggest the original hopeful condition of
the climber, the second flight a little shab-
bier — the cai*pet had been moved up; the
third flight had each step covered loosely
with a dingy carpet faded so that all the
pattern was gone, with here and there a
suggestive darn that hinted, not only at
economy, but at disappointment. The car-
pet had not proved all that it was repre-
sented to be. And then the room ! A high
chest of drawers with a tiny mirror above
it — a mirror that would bring out all of the

30 Life in a Boarding-House

angles and none of the curves, and which
had an ugly fashion of intensifying unhap-
piness, and fading out hope. A couple of
odd chairs, a tiny washstand, almost hidden
under a bowl of one color and a pitcher of
another, and then that most uncomfortable
of all things, a mantel bed, on which a tired
body may sleep, but certainly cannot rest, —
these furnish the room of the girl who has
come to the city to earn her living.

It is probable that she is busy all the day
long, but it is to be hoped that she has still
enough faith left to expect to have a home
of her own some day, possibly a home with
Prince Charming as her companion, or else
with some woman, her mother or one of her
kindred, who can come to her as her com-
rade. She has asked me many times if it is
immodest for her to long to be a happy wife
and the mistress of a home, and I answer
her emphatically, "It is not wrong as long
as you do not let this thought so fill your
mind that your every-day work is neglected.
Keep this hope for the quiet hours when
you are by yourself. But remember that
you also have a duty in this abiding-place

Life in a Boarding-House 3 1

which you do not call a home, hut which
you are inclined to term, contemptuously, a
boarding-house. "

The First Duty op All

Is that you, yourself, should be as com-
fortable as possible. Adapt yourself to
your surroundings as you fit your hand to a
new glove, which, to be satisfactory, must
be easy. To have a warm room, econo-
mize if necessary, even if you have to give
up the few sweets and the occasional glass
of soda water. Too often a cold room
means a hurried bath, hasty dressing, an un-
satisfactory breakfast, and a late arrival at
your place of business — a something which
the busy girl wants to avoid. Then have a
few of your own comforts : the soft pillow,
^hich is too often unknown in a hall bed-
room; the light comfortable brought from
home ; some of the large towels that are so
pleasant to use, and which the average
landlady seems to find undesirable, and
*hen learn to care for your possessions.

J^our tiny room will be more homelike if it
^ neat ; you will be less apt to lose the few

32 Life in a Boarding-House

comforts you possess if you take the trouble
to lock up those that are valuable. "Be
polite, but not too effusive, with those
whose duty it is to wait upon you, and re-
member that no people so quickly recognize
good breeding and consideration as those
inmates of the house upon whom much of
our comfort in life depends. Try and eat
your breakfast each morning — you need to
be well equipped for your day's work.

At the End of the Day

You come back to your abiding-place —
tired, perhaps more than tired, as the re-
suit of a struggle to get into and stand in a
crowded car, filled with dripping umbrellas
and not over-polite people. The top of the
steps is reached at last, you sit down to
rest for a minute and then think of what
you would do if you were at home. Read-
ing your mind I advise you to do here as
you would there. Throw aside the gown
that you have worn during the working
hours, freshen your face, brush and arrange
your hair, and slip into the easy and more
becoming little frock that makes you feel .

Life in a Boarding-House ^^

like a different woman since it suggests a
change of surroundings. Then, when the
dinner-bell rings, go down with the deter-
mination to make the best of ever3^thirig.
Do not permit yourself to drift into the
vulgar habit of finding fault with your food.
You are probably getting all that you are
paying for, and if you are not you have the
delightful privilege of leaving that which is
unpleasant.

The Small Sweet Courtesies

Even if this is your first appearance at
the public table, find a pleasant " good-
evening " for your neighbors. It is possible
that a gruff man may not answer you, but
persist in that greeting, for, just as cer-
tain as that you are you, your politeness
will have its effect upon him. Remember
that the world should be better because
you live in it. There are duties in life, as
well as pleasures, and you have no right to
shirk these duties because your home, for
the present, differs from that which you
would call a real home. Do not throw
jour dinner down your throat as if it were

34 Life in a Boarding-Hous

80 much coal pitched in the furna
out of respect to yourself, observe t
etiquette that obtains among ^
people. It is possible that the ma
site you may wield his knife and f o
awkward way, or that the old lad;;
end of the table may be a bit greed
desire to get an extra plate of pud
a specially fine pear. What other
do must not influence you, unless i
be for good, but w^hat you do will
sciously, have its effect upon other
Do not hurry, and if you can,
seeming eager, chat pleasantly w
nearest neighbor about the man
sonal subjects which rise up in
city.

Be Cheerful and Pleasant v

Be confidential with no one
allow yourself to become the vi-
idle young matron who has no'
for work, who has a great lov
and who is only too willing to
unpleasant story about your
hint at the various people

Life in a Boarding-House 35

money, and who joys in seeing you shudder
as she hints at some awful story which she
supposes is true, and which makes you
think less of some one who had seemed
agreeable. I do not advise you in the
evening to seek the solitude of your gloomy
little room, but I would suggest that you
be careful, even in your choice of acquaint-
ances. A lively game, some pleasant
music, or an interesting . chat may be pos-
sible, even in a boarding-house parlor, pro-
vided the game is not allowed to become
too entrancing, the music to continue too
late, or the agreeable talk to degenerate
into gossip.

Do not permit yourself to discuss
whether the pale young man at the end of
the table pays four or five dollars a week,
whether the landlady's rent is properly
attended to, or whether, in dividing the
most palatable dish, she gives larger por-
tions to some people than to others. She
would be more than an angel if she did
not find pleasure in showing some courte-
sies to those who are considerate of her.
It might be wise for you to think that the

si: ^^6 Life in a Boarding-House

ij.

average boarding-house keeper is tr
do her best ; that the chances are tl
once made a home only for those wh
bound to her by ties of love or ki
and that now it is stern necessit
forces her to make a home for all soi

i; conditions of men and women, an

she deserves sympathy, rather than

. ., criticism. Put your mother in her

and try to decide whether she woi
better or worse.

You are right in wishing to be pop
the house, but do not imagine that
told every bit of disagreeable gossip,
be kept informed of all the unpleasau
penings, constitutes popularity. L«

,, I idea be established that you will not

' ' to anything that is malicious, and that

I can take the liberty of discussing a

j i woman's weaknesses with you. Do

^ ' afraid to speak the truth at all time

be less afraid to silence what you kn

at least, partly untrue. Benjamin Fr

realized all that was meant by the wn

keeping still when he said, "As we

account for every idle word, so must -

.1.

I ■
•I I

Life in a Boarding-House 37

every idle silence." Silence, which gives
consent, suggests that you agree with the
speaker.

The Place to Receive Your Visitors

I know it is not agreeable to introduce
into the public parlor the friend who comes
to spend an hour with you, but unless this
friend is a girl the parlor, with its lack of
privacy, must be your reception-room.
Once you introduce a man friend into your
own room, even though it is apparently
furnished as a sitting-room, a Bohemian
atmosphere envelops you, and your visitor,
probably unconsciousl}^, will grow careless
in his behavior. Environment means
much to the girl in the city: she cannot be
too careful of herself while away from the
restraining influence of her parents.

Among the People You Meet

There are usually some who attract ; many
whom you care but little for, and a few to
whom you extend the honor of a dislike.
Discourage that feeling. Probably it has
not the depth of hatred, but dislike is an

38 Ufe in a Boarding-Hc

ugly little weed, and one that she
allowed to grow in the garden of
may heartily dislike tliat which i:
able in your neighbor, but try to
a mere persona! dislike and see
Dot a virtue that is worth youi
ation, and which, when found,
much greater than the fault thi
forget your original discovery,
there is a man ov a woman who is
unpleasant to look upon, greedy
tempered. In a board ing-honse I
is apt to become the jest of all
and the butt of the table. Ho
know what it was that made tl
this woman so unpleasant? Ca
agine what the circumstances
soured sweetness and made darki
there should be light? And ho
know what you would have be.
life had been a duplicate of your r
As an agreeable girl constitute yi
ofaampion of the weak, and rise
vulgarity that makes a fello
miserable by half-hushed laughs,
criticisms, and entire lack of ]

Iff

Life in a Boarding-House 29

Twenty years from now you may be the
spinster who has found life very hard, who
lias discovered little joy in it, and who is
forced to be the shabby and the neglected
one.

You are apt to meet the woman who tells
you many marvellous stories of past gran-
<ieur, and who finds nothing satisfactory in
^e present ; beware of her. Women who
^ave had all the good things of life, especi-
^y those women who are well-bred, do not,

•

^ their days of misfortune, dilate to a
stranger of those days when good fortune
^as to the fore. You may always suspect
the truth of the woman who is inclined to
^ast of good things that have passed.

Avoid the Fault-finding Woman

She is the one who, while she criticises
'^er breakfast, eats heartily of it. She
^mplains of the attention paid her bed-
room ; objects to the style in which dinner
^ served; is disgusted with the general
appearance of the house; and yet she is
^ore than confidential with the landlady.
Of such a woman it may be concluded that

40 Life in a Boarding-House

she is a tale-bearer, and hence, unless you
wish to be mixed up in numerous petty
quarrels, you will avoid her. Think how
pitiful it is to see women like this — women
who are making life a frivolous game and
the world a playground. By this I do not
mean that you must have no pleasures, for
it is quite as sad to see your abiding-place
regarded as a jail, and to think of the
world of girls behaving like convicts on the
treadmill, indulging never in a smile or a
jest. Take your pleasures gladly, but be
sure that they are good, innocent pleasures
that will not leave a bitter taste of regret.

Making a Boarding-house Seem Like

Home

It would seem as if this sermon, when
summed up, meant that even in a boarding-
house the homeless girl may live such a
sunshiny life that she will cease to be home-
less, for she makes other people glad. I
hope most sincerely that the home that she
longs for, and that the home over which she
will be the mistress, will come to her. But,
if it should not, let her live so fair a life,

Life in a Boarding-House 41

■

so sweet a life, that the outside world will
never realize what she has missed, that as
the years pass she will be not the queru-
lous spinster, who is dreaded and made a
jest of, but the woman who, having ceased
to be a girl in years, is still a girl at heart,
and can realize all that a girl longs for,
while sympathizing with her in all that she
misses. Such a woman can mean much to
a young girl. She can keep her, in a
gentle, loving way, from making many
mistakes. She can, in a quiet, womanly
fashion, protect her when she first leaves
her own home and becomes one of the
many in somebody's else house.

I hope that to every dear girl of mine
there will be a brighter future than an old
age in a boarding-house, but even that has
its bright side. Every woman can make
goodness so attractive that young girls will
be eager to imitate her, and they will find
in her companionship a never-ceasing plea-
sure. There are great talents given to
some, but the talent to be desired may be
cultivated by every girl. It is that talent
which enables you to make more pleasant

42 Life in a Boarding-House

your surroundings; to make everybody
eager to meet you and sorry to leave you ;
to enable you to give courage to the timid
girl ; to quiet unpleasant words, and to en-
courage agreeable conversation. What
talent is this ? It is composed, I think, of
faith, hope, and charity, with love thrown in
to leaven it, and patience added to increase
it. Once you possess it, not only will your
life be a sunshiny one, but you will cease
to be a homeless girl, and become the girl
who makes a home wherever she is.

HAVING A FAMILIAR FRIEND

I AGREE with you that it is pleasant to
have a familiar friend — one who is
near to the heart, and always close at hand.
And yet, I think there is danger in the
close companion. Undoubtedly there is
great comfort in telling to another woman
all the worries of your life, but if you hap-
pen to be a sensitive woman you exag-
gerate the worries, and your story, when
told to a close friend, makes you a martyr,
and every one who has offended you, either
by woixi or deed, a sinner of the deepest
dye. So while there is pleasure there is
danger in the close companion. You have
a certain morbid delight, too often, in tell-
ing her of your home life, and in this life
you appear the only one worth considering,
while you picture everybody else as being
intellectually weaker, and lacking in con-
sideration toward you. Now, will you take
a little advice from me?

44 Having a Familiar Friend

Keep Your Own Counsel

You can never be too careful in the confi-
dences which you make about your home
life to your familiar friend. You may love
her, she may love you, but after all there
is no tie so strong as that of blood, and the
day will come when you will regret having
underrated any one of your own kin. I
like a^ girl to have a gui friend, and I think
it good for her to share her pleasures, her
interests in books or pictures, even her
opinion of a bonnet with this friend, but I
would advise her to forget the unpleasant
happenings in her own home, and not even
to whisper them to her close companion,
who, while she may love her, may not be
able to control her tongue, and so the
stories will be repeated — these stories
about family life — and some day they will
come back dressed so that you will scarcely
recognize them. Enjoy your friend, but
have it understood between you that home
affairs are not to be discussed, and that
each of you is to try to get the better of
the somewhat morbid sensitiveness which

Having a Familiar Friend 45

is too often part of the character of the
American girl. She is apt to think that
nobody at home appreciates her, and she is
only too apt to repeat this opinion until
the world at large believes that she is
treated in the most unkind manner. Very
often in home life no hurt is meant, but it
is only that where there are so many the
peculiarities of one are apt to be over-
looked. Make up your mind in the very
beginning of your friendship that, even to
your dearest friend, nothing except that
which is pleasant shall be said about the
home or its inmates.

The Every-Day Life

Having the close companion for whom
you care, remember, if you wish to keep
her, that it is the little things and not the
great actions in life that count. You are
certain that you would die for your friend.
In these matter-of-fact days our friends
want us, not to die, but to live for them,
and to live in a pleasant manner. So give
to her the small pleasures of every-day
life; you count them small, but they are

46 Having a Familiar Friend

great, for it is these small things that make
life worth living at all. Don't wait until
your friend is dead to speak of your love of
her; take the alabaster box in which is hid-
den all joy and sweetness, and give her of
its treasures while she is still with you, in-
stead of keeping them sealed up until she
is dead, and offering them as a tribute to
her memory. Give her flowers every day,
flowers in the form of pleasant words, of
kindly deeds and of loving thoughts, and
do not keep the flowers to cover her cold
body with. Any stranger can send in a
wreath of roses when one is dead, but it is
the close companion only who can give the
wreath formed of the flowers of thoughtful-
ness, of kindness, and of consideration
every day in the year.

Between friends there must be close sym-
pathy, and one must be able to give to the
other what she lacks, but even between
those friends who are nearest and dearest
it is not necessary to lay bare one's heart.
Such confidence is too apt to be greeted
with a curious satisfaction, and even from
a friend this gratification makes one feel as

Having a Familiar Friend 47

if one's bruises had been touched with
vitriol. A real friend asks no questions.
She takes the best that comes, the best that
is in you, the best that you care to offer
her, and demands nothing more. She has
long ago learned, being wise, that to all of
us there comes a time when nothing should
be said ; it is true there is a time when
something should be said, but there is never
a time when everything should be said.
There is very often a silence between two
women friends that means rest,' and she is
unwise who breaks that silence.

Friendship's Practical Side

Between you and your close companion
never let a question of money arise if you
wish your friendship to live. If a little, no
matter how little, is borrowed, return it as
quickly as possible, and make every effort
to avoid borrowing at all. Ask considera-
tion, ask mental help, but do everything
that is possible, economize in every way
that you can, before asking money from
your friend. I do not know what it is,
whether friendship is so delicate, or whether

48 Having a Familiar Friend

it collides with practicality, but if you ask
your friend for money you will discover that
something has gone. The money itself
may have been given, and given willingly,
but the joy is not just as it was, and the
dew seems gone from the rose.

Then, too, respect your friend's religious
belief if it differs from yours. Your knowl-
edge is not so great that you can say that
you are right, and if your friend is good
and sweet, and kind and sympathetic, why
should you care what her belief is as to her
future? Even if she should go from you
you need not ask under what flag she died.
It is only necessary for you to know how
she lived to be sure that life everlasting
will come to her. Never be the one to say
the first disagreeable word. It is true that
it takes a second to make a quarrel, but
that first word of complaint is the little rift
within the lute that eventually makes all the
music still. Consider the weaknesses of
your friend. Remember her life story as
you know it, her surroundings and the story
of her soul as you read it, and be sym-
pathetic and bear patiently with her as only

Having a Familiar Friend 49

a real friend can. Always credit her with
doing the best that she can, and if you do
not quite understand something, some ac-
tion or some word, give her the benefit of
the doubt, and think that in the beginning
she started with the intention of doing
something kindly to you. Constant consid-
eration is the secret of friendship. This
sounds as if it were wearing. But it only
means that to believe constantly that which
is good of your close companion makes per-
fect companionship a possibility.

The New Acquaintance

A new friend is like a new book. One
looks at the pages, one reads the preface,
and then one stops and thinks, "Is it worth
while ? " Is the new book worth the close
reading, or is it by some good chance such
a book as one puts on the little shelf in one's
private room where are kept those books
that one lives with, and those treasures that
mean nothing to the outside world, but that
tell much to the woman who is tender of

heart and sympathetic by nature ? I would

5P Having a Familiar Friend

like my girls to look out for one danger in
choosing a friend. You are young, impres-
sionable, loving, and sympathetic ; you meet
a woman much older than yourself who
seems to you the most charming and the
most intelligent, and so altogether delight-
ful that you are proud of being recognized
by her. Too often this type of woman is
tired of everything and everybody. You
are the new book to her. She is a book upon
whose pages many names have been writ-
ten, and one day when you are most admir-
ing and most loving you hear from her that
she has turned the page, that page in her
book of life which bears your name. Cruel?
Of course it is cruel. Be wise and choose
your close companion from the girls who
are near your own age, who can sympa-
thize with your every-day life and be joy-
ful with you in your everj'-day pleasures.
Again, I want to say to you, remember
that there are some things that it is never
wise to tell even to one's own familiar
friend: the mistake of the brother, the
trouble in another branch of the family that
the world might count a scandal, or the

Having a Familiar Friend 5 1

great grief that has come to a mother.
These belong exclusively to the family,
and no matter how near or how dear the
friend may be, they must not be told even
to her. And being a good friend she will
not ask.

Be a merry friend. Do not carry to your
close companion only the woes and worries
of your life, but ask her to share with you
every pleasure. When two girls enjoy a
story, a jest, an amusement, or a pretty
gown, or a dainty ribbon, there is a pleas-
antness that cannot be described. One
has to have enjoyed with a friend to under-
stand the absolute pleasure, and the perfect
innocence of the pleasure. Every plea-
sure you share should be an innocent one.
My dear girl, you are too good, I am sure,
to say to your close companion anything
that is not perfectly chaste, but there is
wickedness everywhere. The very minute
a girl attempts to tell you something you
would not care to repeat to your mother,
leave her. Permit nothing to be told you,
nothing to be said in your presence that you
would blush to have your mother hear.

52 Having a Familiar Friend

Life's Daily Need

My dear girl, you cannot be a good
friend, you cannot love well and sincerely,
unless you live a good life. And by living
a good life I mean that you must make
your religion an every-day one ; that your
religion is not the sort which is thrown
aside for six days and assumed on the
seventh, but it is one which is living and
controls you on every one of the days of
the week. Too many young girls throw off
their religion when they most need it, like
some foolish child casting aside his shoes
when he is going to walk over thistles.

One's religion is worth little unless it is
for all time. Bring it into your friendship,
not by foolish discussions but by a beau-
tiful life. Make your life with your friend
so rich in all that is loving, kindly, and
womanly that if she has not chosen a path
by which to reach God's kingdom yours
will suggest itself to her, and then, in faith
as well as in friendship, you two will be
united. But if your friend has selected the
path by which she will walk in faith, re-

Having a Familiar Friend 53

spect her choice. Liberty of belief must
be allowed if a friendship is to last, and,
after all, how do you know whether she is
right or you ?

To the young girl the story of the life and
the precepts of Christ should most appeal,
for it was to a young girl that He showed
His great power. Do you remember when
He was asked to come to the house of one
of the chief ofl3cers of the synagogue whose
daughter lay dead? When He reached the
father Christ preached to him the beautiful
religion of hope, saying, "Fear not; be-
lieve only, and she shall be made whole."
And making His way through the throng
of curious lookers-on, of hired mourners,
he touched her gently, and said, as we
translate it, "Maid, arise." "And her
spirit came again and she rose straightway ;
and He commanded to give her meat."

Is it not possible for you to call back to
every-day life, to the willingness to bear
every-day burdens, that close companion
who shows an inclination to fall by the
wayside? To call her back by the love
name and the religion of hope ? By urging

54 Having a Familiar Friend

on, day in and day out, that the brightness
is sure to come, and therefore that it is
worth while to do one's best, and to believe
that what one wishes for with intensity, if
it be good for one, will surely come ? So
often you and your close companion lead
a religious life that is largely morbid. You
count yourselves as the only ones who suf-
fer, and you believe that no people are
treated by the rest of the world as you are.
Cast that depressing, dark faith aside.
Call it what you will, but take the religion
of hope, and see how good it is to live by
and to die by. In friendship, as in reli-
gion, there can be no old story. Every-
thing must be new from day to day, and i
the weakness of yesterday is the weaknef
of to-day it must receive to-day, as it d
yesterday, a living sympathy, else yc
friendship is as nothing to your close cc
panion. Hope means so much. And
means so much more when it leads m
make the best of each other. You 1
your weak points, so have I. But if '
close companion cannot forgive this
then ask for sympathy when her wes

Having a Familiar Friend 55

is most conspicuous, what would life be?
To keep on making the best of one another,
to keep on forgiving one another, and to
keep on loving one another is the only way
to make life worth while, and to prove
to the rest of the world that the story of
the redemption of the world by the love of
Christ Jesus was a true one.

It would seem as if the end, which is
usually the summing up, should be, " Have
a friend, but guard your friendship and
your friend as you would a crystal vase."
Once the crystal vase is broken, all the
careful mending in the world can never
make it as it was, and once there has come
in your friendship the words that jarred,
the actions that were unkind, and the looks
that seem to cut like a knife, the friendship,
like the beautiful vase, can never be as it
was. And what is a girl without a girl
friend ? She stands alone. Men think
that she must differ from other women, and
that there must be something about her less
sweet and l^ss feminine than that which
prevades her sisters. I am a believer in
the girl friend. Any girl can, with very

56 Having a Familiar Friend

little trouble, gain the admiration of a man,
but it takes something finer, something
better, and something more charming to
attract a woman, and to make and keep her
a friend. In all the history of the world
there is nothing so fine as the friendship of
women ; whether it be given to men, or
whether it be given to women, it stands out
magnificent, unselfish, sympathetic, and
Christlike — when it is the right kind of
friendship. And you will not choose the
wrong ? You will remember that to Him
who was without sin, the joy, the beauty
and the sympathy of friendship was kno^vn,
and that it was a woman who waa a friend,
who stood by Mary watching, until the
tragedy of the cross had ended, and wait
ing until the glory of the resurrection ha'
begun.

PROPER CARE OF HER
WARDROBE

I HAVE always maintained that it was
the duty of every girl to look her best.
She may look her best in a dainty cotton
gown, which cost but little, and which was
made by her own deft fingers ; indeed, she
may look elegant in this dress, simple as it
is, provided it is becoming, adapted to the
hour and place, and, most important of all,
absolutely neat. Perfect neatness is the
keynote to a good appearance. Therefore
the girl who wishes to look well — and that
is just as much her duty as that she should
do right — must study how to keep her
wardrobe in good condition, so that each
garment may be ready for wear when it is
needed. Untidyness should be an unknown
quantity. I have little faith in an untidy
girl. She who goes without buttons on her
shoes, wearing a torn skirt, a dusty hat,

58 Proper Care of Her Wardrobe

and soiled gloves, can never possess real
stability of character. The learning how
to care for one's belongings is almost as
necessary as the learning how to live a good
life.

The Poor Girl is Apt to be Extrava-
gant

It is a truth, and a sad one, that the girl
with the least money is apt to be the most
extravagant. The very wealthy girl may
not have to care for her own wardrobe, yet
each piece belonging to it is made to do
full seiTice, and in many instances, if she
has a wise mother, the girl herself must
superintend the work of the maid. It is
said of the daughters of Queen Victoria
that each one of them was taught, not only
to sew well, but to mend and darn with
great neatness, and to make over those
gowns which were counted worth it. The
girl whose wardrobe is not large makes her
first mistake in buying cheap material of a
color that is the fancy of the moment. In-
stead, when only one new gown may be had
during the season, it should be of a fabric

Proper Care of Her Wardrobe 59

that will stand wear, that will endure mak-
ing over, and of a color of which neither
the wearer nor the looker-on will soon grow
weary. It is an extravagance to have a
gown made in the extreme of the fashion,
for the extreme soon goes out, and then
you have a failure on your hands.

How One Wise Girl Cares for Her

Clothes

I am going to take it for granted that
you are a girl like a friend of mine, who
rejoices in the old-fashioned name of Cyn-
thia. Each season sees her with at least
one new gown, and when there is a great
event, such as a wedding or a festivity of
any kind, Cynthia has either a new evening
dress, or one which has been worn before
is freshened up for the occasion. She is
always spoken of as a well-dressed girl.
She is not a girl who continually talks of
dress, but she understands its value, and
she also understands the value of economy.
By caring for her belongings she can af-
ford to be generous; she can indulge in
many a pleasant lecture, in hearing the

6o Proper Care of Her Wardrobe

best music, and keep in touch with all that
is interesting.

When Cynthia comes in after having been
out on business, or in shopping or visiting,
she does not, in her eagerness to rest,
throw her bodice on one chair, her skirt on
another, her coat and hat on the bed, while
her gloves and veil are carelessly tossed in
the nearest bureau drawer. Oh, no, that
is not Cynthia's way! She gives a look at
her skirt to see if it needs a brushing;
turns her bodice inside out and hangs it on
a frame until it has had time to become
thoroughly aired. Her shoes are taken off,
her slippers assumed, and then skirt, coat,
and whatever needs to be brushed is car-
ried to the room where such work is done.

Some Ways Worth Imitating

The skirt is shaken thoroughly and then
whisked ; the coat is brushed with soft or
stiff brushes according to the material,
while the hat or bonnet is carefully gone
over with a regular bonnet-brush. The
skirt, thoroughly cleaned, is put on its wire
frame and hung in a closet ; the bodice is

Proper Care of Her Wardrobe 6i

folded, stuffed with tissue paper, and Iftif^
in its box. Some bodices Cynthia keeps ^
in her trunk, but these are her evening ones^
and are most carefully put away, for thej*'
are not in constant service. Last yea/r*^
Cynthia economized and bought two pairB^'
of trees for her shoes ; before that, to keep
them in proper condition she used to stuff
them well with paper, for she realized how^
much longer shoes will last when they are*,
not allowed to become shapeless. Her
gloves are carefully pulled out and laid iiu
the box, which is redolent with orris or
violet, or some sweet-smelling sachet;
while her veils are drawn out to their full
width, folded over and over, and pinned
with a good-sized pin at each end. Time?
Of course it takes time, .but the result is
satisfactory, since Cynthia always appears
as a lady should.

How She Cares for Her Belongings

For a rainy day Cynthia has a special
serge skirt. It had become worn about the
bottom, and she cut it off so that it escapes
the ground, and she can walk without get-

52 Proper Care of Her Wardro

^ting wet skirts, and, as a natural seque
' damp feet and a bad cold. She also h
pair of shoes that have long ago
counted as worthless for ordinary wear,
which are admirably adapted for use u
rubbers, since rubbers mean destru(
to good boots. Her out-of-door shoes
never worn indoors, not only because
ipers are more comfortable and look pret
but because they cost less, and we£
street shoes indoors means that they
soon look shabby.

In the morning Cynthia takes her si
those with the patent-leather vamps
cloth tops, and, assuming a pair of 1
gloves, gives them a special treatn
With a stiff brush she removes every
' tide of dust from the cloth, then she

I a little vaseline here and there on

■ I leather, and rubs the vamps and the 1

j with a bit of an old black stocking unt

' the vaseline is absorbed and the lei

I shines brightly. The yellow vaseline

j with its stocking leg wrapped around

specially dedicated to the shoes, since
good for tan shoes, low or high, is

Proper Care of Her Wardrobe 63

desirable on patent leather, cleans rubbers
well, and softens shoes that have become
hard from having been worn in a heavy
storm. Cynthia's shoemaker long ago told
her never to buy shoes in the morning,
because it was only when the afternoon had
arrived that the foot had reached its largest
proportions, and therefore shoes bought in
the morning were very apt to be too small.

Caring for Hats and Gloves

This girl's hats are carefully brushed,
not only when they are taken off, but
before they are to be put on, and each one
has its own hat-box, on the side of which
its name is written, so that four or five
boxes are not disturbed and much harm
wrought by looking for the black hat in
every box but its own. She keeps sharp
scissors especially to trim the frayed ends
of ribbons, and she has learned very deftly
to freshen artificial flowers by pulling, and
bending, and straightening them, or to curl
limp feathers on a paper-knife. On a cel-
luloid ring hangs the tiny egg of ivory that
slips in a glove finger, and the plait of fine

64 Proper Care of Her Wardrobe

threads of the different glove colors,
little bag tied to the ring holds glov
buttons of different sizes, and Cynth
keeps close watch on her gloves, and makt
them last because she has taught herse
the art of glove-mending.

The Art of Making Things New

Remember that it is a waste of time
make over old gowns unless the materi
is worth the doing it well. Cynthia hi
learned how to rip. She takes a dress th
has done good service, and armed with
sharp-pointed pair of scissors she careful
cuts and just as carefully pulls each threa
The trimmings, the buttons, the ribbon
whatever there may be on the gown, a
looked over, for Cynthia is too wise to 1
her closets with rubbish that will never
of use. But the fine bit of lace if in go<
condition is carefully laid away in color
tissue paper. The jet or passementei
trimming may need a little mending ; aft
it is given to it, it is laid in a box, fir
being wrapped in some clean, soft cheeg
cloth, and on the box is written a full d

Prop?r Care of Hec Wardrobe 65

scription of its cont&ita. Soiled lining*
e thrown away^^d shabby, torn braids

le utilized for herself

, 'thinking cap and de-

I 'ilities. It may make

I ' in the family. If it

"s '. yet worn, it may be

g H best parts for chftir-

^ I' Perhaps it is to be

^ I'e coining of another

I Icleana it thoroughly,

£ (ed for it will be in

I r.nows very well that

■i pjhol, those wonder-

s .splosivea and must

I .1 nor a light. Con-

« ,, a cold room when

larctidns, and she

f M, material that it is
5 1 piece of the same
£ le same color.
. _6ike a grease spot
from her black wool dress she does It either
with common brown paper or French chalk.
The treatment with the paper la very

66 Proper Care of Her Wardrobe

simple : she lays it over the spot, and then

holds above it, almost touching it, a very

hot ii'on; gradually the grease ^^^^pi^l^to

the paper, and Cynthia must be quick to

remove the absorbent before the grease iW

time to go back. When she uses Fre^iCh

€halk she scrapes it on the spot, alio I it

to remain for a day, and then brushes i j ff»

If the spot is a bad one she repeats {the

treatment.

I
Some Things All Girls Should KnJ>w

The white satin slippers which Cynithia
has have lasted many seasons becauseif she
knows how to clean them. After thej/ had
had a good deal of wear she treated /them
bjt^1?^4]bbing with a piece of cottoa wool
-''^aipped ib «ther, then she brush-^^ them over
with a soft beaves bvush dipped in pul-
verized Spanish whiting. This treatment
cleaned a white felt hat for her, and she is
certain that it would be good for white
gloves. But Cynthia is a wise economist,
and she sends her gloves to a cleaner, for
she knows that there they will be made to
look much better than if she tried to clean

Proper Care of Her Wardrobe 67

them, while the expense is but a slight one*
How, she never knew, but she discovered
a grease spot on her pretty velvet coat
She wondered how she should cause it to
disappear, and after many inquiries she
followed a receipt given her by a French
woman, and put a piece of hot toast over
the stain, and the grease was quickly
absorbed.

Some person complimented Cynthia on
always having a stylish-looking umbrella,
and she laughed and said that was because
she had learned how to treat it well. Her
parasols are carefully wrapped up in tissue
paper, blue or pink being used for the
white ones, and her umbrellas are never
kept strapped. For ordinary rainstorms,
or for those days when it merely threatens
rain, Cynthia has a natty silk umbrella;
but for the veritable storm she has an
umbrella of gloria, which looks well and
which will outwear any silk. When her
umbrella is wet she stands it with the
ha^ndle down, so that the drippings may
not ±\\ ^he framework, and when she is
ready to^it her umbrella away she care-

68 Proper Care of Her Wardrobe

fully wipes the handle, goes over the silk
part with a soft dry cloth, and satisfies
herself that it is quite dry.

The Daily Care of Her Wardrobe

Wishing to give your wardrobe proper
care you must not forget to look every
day at the binding of your skirt, at the
buttons on your boots, at your veil and
gloves — indeed, you must glance at all
that has unceasing wear. A fresh binding
will sometimes alter the entire appearance
of a girl, making her look neat and dainty,
where before the ragged edges of her skirt
suggested that she was at once untidy and
ignorant. Shabby finery is inexcusable.
Chiffon that has become worn and ragged,
when it cannot be replaced should be re-
moved and something simpler substituted
for it. Tears, worn places, and rips are
never seen on a well-bred girl, for from
her early youth she has learned how to
wield her needle well and mend all l^er
belongings with as much dainting^^^Jij^ she
embroiders. ^

Proper Care of Her Wardrobe 69

One Girl's Wise Little Economies

My friend amuses herself by laughing at
her small economies. She has intimated at
times, to those who are near and dear to
her, what she would best like in the way
of gifts, and now it is her pleasant boast
that she has collected everything that will
assist her in mending and cleaning, as well
tis all the pretty trays, boxes, and cases to
hold her belongings. It is by having a place
for everything that she can keep everything
in order. Hairpins do not disappear mys-
teriously, because as each one is taken out it
is laid in its pretty tray. Her pearl-headed
pins, — those pins that cost eight cents a
dozen, — her black-headed pins, and her
bonnet-pins, each have their special cushion,
and she does not treat her pretty little pieces
of jewelry improperly by throwing them
carelessly into the top one of her chest of
drawers. No, as each brooch is taken off
it is laid in its own box ; the string of beads
is put in its place, the rings in their boxes,
— all the little ornaments where they should
be, — and then, when she thinks they need

70 Proper Care of Her Wardrobe

it, Cynthia gives them a cleaning — a batb
in hot water and ammonia, from which they
come glittering like the sunshine. A place-
for everything and everything in its place
makes Cynthia's room a pleasant one to visit
and a delightful place to look upon.

There are thousands of girls like Cynthia.
She is not the daughter of a wealthy man,
and she will not marry a millionnaire. But
she is a pleasant girl, who loves beautiful
things, and who realizes their value. That
is the secret of her carefulness. Knowing
the exact value of everything, she feels that
it would be dishonest if she did not give
due care to the blessings that come to her.
I want you to be like her, not only because it
is well for you to be economical and appreci-
ative, but because you can then afford to be
generous ; and, best of all, you will alway
look as you should, and looking well yo
will find yourself acting in harmony wi^
your appearance. None of us expect mu'
from an untidy, careless girl ; none of
give much love to an untidy, careless g
She is certain to be a selfish girl ; and
there any failing more disagreeable t

Proper Care of Her Wardrobe 71

this ? Carelessness certainly leads to ex-
travagance, and extravagance leads — who
can say where ? I do not want my girls to
be careless and extravagant and selfish. I
want them to be neat in their appearance,
careful of their belongings, and considerate
of everybody.

HER MONEY AND WHAT TO
DO WITH IT

SHE earns it, and she thinks she has a
right to do whatever she pleases with
it. So she has, in a way. There is an odd
little word that, for some unknown reason,
impresses most girls unpleasantly, and yet
if one lives up to that little word all life
will be brighter and better. What is it?
Duty. And the girl who earns money owes
a duty to herself in regard to it. I know,
oh, so well, how it burns a hole in one's
pocket. I know, oh, so well, how delight-
ful it is to buy this and that, to give this
and that, and to feel that it is one's own
money that is being used. You give so
much of your life in exchange for this
money — shall you count your life-blood as
nothing and waste it? Shall you forget
your duty to yourself, and as a natural
sequence, to everybody else? I do not

Money and What to Do with It 73

believe you want to do that. I believe that
this money, earned so hardly, should be
spent so that it brings to you the greatest
comfort, and also, as my old mammy used
to say, keeps your mind easy. Now, the
girl who throws her money around care-
lessly, who never realizes the difference
between use and abuse, who never has the
courage to say that she cannot afford any
pleasure, is the one whose mind is going to
be troubled and whose life will be full of
worry.

I know what it means to earn money. I
know just how delightful it is to handle that
which has been earned honestly, and I know
how difficult it is to refrain from spending
one's money foolishly. Now, I wonder if
you will take a bit of advice from me — you,
who are so dear to me. I want you to
commence right now and keep an account
of the money you spend. Put down that
which goes for a pound of candy and that
which goes for a bottle of medicine. Do
not lump the postage stamps and car-fare,
and hairpins and needles, under the head of
*' trifles," but put down each exactly, and

74 Her Money and

then you will be surprised to discover how
this penny and that dime, this fifty cents and
that dollar, went for nonsense when it might
have been saved and used for some good
purpose. You toss your head and say you
" never could understand figures." That is
a foolish excuse for shirking a responsibility.
It is your business to understand figures,
and to be thoroughly informed, not only as
to your income, but your outgo.

Which Is It?

You think, when one of your friends, a
worker like yourself, comes to you and asks
you to lend her a little money, that you
would be a very mean girl not to do as she
asks. She has used up her money — prob-
ably she does not mention that it went for
an expensive hat or for a theatre ticket —
and she would be so much obliged if you
would let her have enough to pay her laun-
dress. Your purse is out of your pocket
in a second, you count out the money and
have a delightful sensation of generosity
because of your ability to help her. That
night your own washing comes home ; you

What to Do with It 75

look in your purse and you do not feel very
pleasant when you realize that you have to
ask the woman to wait until you get your
wages, because you have not got quite
enough to pay her. Another day the same
girl comes up to you and asks you for the
loan of her car-fare. Oh, you would not be
mean enough to refuse a little thing like
that. But you do wish she would pay you
back the other money ; still, you would not
dream of asking her. Now, this is all
wrong. And it is not generosity that you
are showing to this friend, or at least it is
the wrong kind of generosity. Robbing
Peter to pay Paul is injustice.

You have just so much money to live on,
and you cannot afford to lend it, and the
proper thing for you to do when you are
asked for money is to say that you cannot
afford to either lend or give. You are
almost a thief, though you would not like
to be called that ; but truly j'ou were dis-
honest when you gave money to your friend
that should have been paid to some one who
worked for you. I have gone through all
this myself. I remember in a period of

76 Her Money and

five years lending a quarter and ten cents
and five cents, and occasionally a dollar, to
a girl who never thought of paying me back,
and when I learned a little common-sense,
and refused it, she spoke of me as " mean"
and never thought it worth while to pay
back all she had gotten from me. In lend-
ing this money I did wrong twice : I en-
couraged in her the habit of borrowing, and,
being too cowardly to say " no," I gave
away money that should have been used
for something else. Try to be neither a
borrower nor a lender.

The True Charity

You are a kind-hearted girl, tender and
loving, and when somebody is taken sick,
some fellow-worker, you are eager to help,
to give your mite toward making the suf-
ferer more comfortable. Out of your little
salary every week you put aside a bit of
money for the day of illness, — possibly in
the fund that has been gotten up in the
office or store. Possibly you have put it in
one of the dime banks, and while you have
been doing this the other girl has not trou-

What to Do with It 77

bled herself as to the future. Though you
remember that she was spoken of as so
generous because she brought this girl a
bunch of flowers, bought another one a
book, and gave another one, her most inti-
mate friend, no end of treats, she never
looked for the dark days. Now, you are
wondering what you ought to do. She is
sick and she has not saved any money.
They are going to take up a collection for
her, and some of the girls, thoughtless as
she was, are going to give sums of money
which seem to you very large. You think
over what your expenses are and how much
you can afford, and you put your name
down for a dollar and the girls who gave
two look at you with scorn and whisper that
they did not dream that you were so mean.
But you were not mean, you were honest.

Shall you, because of this girl's thought-
lessness, give less money this week to that
dear old mother whom you have to help?
Shall you, because of this girl's thoughtless-
ness, get into debt that your name may look
largo on a subscription list, and that you may
be spoken of as generous ? Surely not. Give

78 Her Money and

what you can in money, and then, if pos«
sible, give a little of your time to that girl
who is suffering, and when she is well and
strong again try and teach her to look out
for the hard times and be prepared for
them. Not long ago a young girl said to
me, " I sha'n't be able to help at home any
this week, because there were two collections
taken up in the oflSce to send flowers to the
father of one of the stenographers and the
sister of the bookkeeper, who had just died.
I could n*t refuse ; and as women who were
making less than I each gave a dollar, I had
to give that much too, or else I would have
been unpopular."

What do you think I said to her? Just
this : ** Have the courage to be unpopular.
You do not admire these stiff-wired flowers,
and even if you did you cannot afford to spend
money that is earned and kept for a special
duty. If you feel that you would like the
one who has suffered by the death of a dear
one to know of your sympathy, write a pleas-
ant little note, and with it send a handful
of flowers for the living and not for^the
dead."

What to Do with It 79

When You Are Out Shopping

The time comes when the fresh hat and
gown must be gotten. You have been care-
fully laying by a little money for your
clothes, and like a sensible girl you are
going to a good store and to buy good
stuff. That is economy. Do not stop to
look at the faint pinks and blues, or the
fabric that is the rage just now and which
will be out of fashion in two months, but,
instead, select a good standard fabric, have
it made tastefully and in a manner suitable
for the times when it will be worn. Have
a pretty and becoming hat, but avoid a pro-
nounced shape, a number of feathers, or an
overwhelming bunch of gay flowers.

Do not spend your money on the last new
bit of jewelry in cheap gold. Do not spend
your money on anything that is cheap, for
it is always what it is called, and that
usually means that it is worthless. You are
a girl to be honored because you are a
worker, but, because you are a worker, you
must not put on the garb of the butterfly,
which would be out of place and would be

8o Her Money and

ruined by the first ihower. I heard you
tell some girl that you bought a pound of
candy every Saturday. Why? Certainly
it cannot be good for you to eat this much,
and certainly you cannot afford to let so
much money go for sheer folly. I do want
you to have pleasures, many of them, and
if you stop spending your money on silly
things then you will have it for the pleasures
that are worth it. A pound of candy every
Saturday costs you not less than eighty
cents ; there are fifty-two Saturdays in the
year, and that little indulgence comes ex-
actly to forty-one dollars and sixty cents.
Think what you might have gotten with that
which would have been of use and of plea-
sure : the black silk frock that you have
been longing to give your mother ; the little
watch that you wanted for yourself ; or that
would have paid for the vacation that you
needed so badly and which you felt you
could not afford to take.

A Thought for the Future

There are very few of us earning our
living who have not some one else to care

What to Do with It 8i

for, and that is much to the credit of the
American girl. Sometimes it is the people
at home ; sometimes it is a younger sister
who is to be helped with her education, but
always a helping hand is needed. You
laugh at the idea of making a will, but no
matter how little you have, if it is nothing
but your gold watch, you ought to attend
to its disposition. And if there are people
depending upon you, old people, stop the
soda-water, stop the candy, and have your
life insured. You will not die any the
sooner, and you will feel that the old lady
you love so dearly will not, when you cease
to be here, depend upon the hard charity
of strangers. Now, I am taking it for
granted that this girl 1 am speaking to is
not an absolutely young girl, and is one
who has saved a little money. I beg of
her if this is so, not to let that money go
into the hands of even those who are near-
est and dearest to her with a view of
investing it, without getting from them a
written security. And I beg of that woman,
too, to make herself understand exactly
how her money is placed, and whether if

82 Her Money and

any trouble comes she could be held n
sponsible for more than that which she ha
put in. Women are usually cautious i
their investments, and, thank God! the
are generally honest about paying whs
they owe ; but sometimes the desire to g(
a larger interest proves fascinating, an
the money is taken from where it is saf
and given over to those who are veritab]
sharks. No matter how little money yo
may save, put it in a bank, selecting a wel
established and reliable bank in preferenc
to any other, even if the interest is muc
less. Learn how to take care of yot
bank-book, and do not sign your checlj
''Miss Mamie Webster," but write yoi
name " Mary Webster," and so stand i
the bank's estimation as a dignified woma
and not a foolish girl.

That Other Girl

She is fortunate in having people to car
for her, and the money that is put in th
dainty little purse is a gift and not a wag
earned. She does not know how much he
dresses cost, — she had them charged an

What to Do with It 83

did not ask; and she would think she was
horribly mean if she went out with a girl
friend and did not treat her to luncheon
and buy her something pretty. The whole
crowd, as she calls them, have soda at her
expense, and then she bought a bunch of
violets for herself and one for her most in-
timate friend and had two pairs of gloves
charged. My dear little butterfly, what
kind of a wife are you going to make for a
young man whose salary is twenty-five hun-
dred dollars a year? And that is more
than the average man of twenty-five gets.
Now, I want you to be woman enough to
ask your father not to give you candy and
soda money, but an allowance, and tell him
it is because you want to learn the value of
money. He is a business man and he will
see the wisdom of it. Then, buy your own
dresses, pay for the making of them, learn
what they are worth, and learn just how
much that you squander is unnecessary.
When you have them charged you do not
think it worth while to clean gloves, bat
when you pay out your own money for them
you will see the wisdom of this economy.

84 Her Money and

The girl who knows nothing about tl
value of her clothes, who uses her pock
money only for nonsense, is not fit to 1
the mistress of a household, is not fit
control money, or to be the wife of eith
a rich or a poor man. The wise girl mu
stop right away in her career of ignoranc
She must make up her mind to learn
know the value of money, its proper ui
and its wicked abuse. Prince Charmii
dreams of asking her to control a tiny co
tage in which love and happiness may 1
found, but how can he when her clothe
and her follies require more money than 1
would make in three years? A your
woman can afford to dress simply. She
wronging herself when she impresses tl
men who are her friends with her ignoram
of life and ?ts duties. If she is left to lii
her life alone, never having the joy of b
ing wife or mother, it is too often becauj
the man who loved her knew that he d:
not have enough money to keep her as si
wished, knew that, honestly, he could m
afford to ask her to be his wife. Think
all over, my pretty butterfly ; stop studyit

What to Do with It 85

Greek and go back to the multiplication
table ; give up the zither and take to pencil
and paper. Learn the value of money.
Having that knowledge, no matter whether
you are a worker or an idler, you possess
a great power. Whether your income is
small or great you will be able to be both
just and generous with it, and that is what
I want my girls to be. It is only by car-
ing for the pennies that you can control
the dollars. For me, I am so proud of the
American girl that I want her to do what is
right, and this she never will do until she
is brave enougli to draw the strings of her
purse against extravagance and sickly sen-
timentality, and to open it to justice and
proper generosity.

HER SOCIAL POSITION

THE girl who works has a recogniz
social position, and she need
longer shrink, hesitate, stammer and blu
when some one discovers that she earns 1
own living. The world has grown old
and the civilization of to-day recognii
and respects the working-girl. Society,
first a little surprised at its own action, n
gives cheerful recognition to the woe
who earns her own living, but it dema
from her all that it does from any o
woman — or perhaps it would be bett
say that society demands from the girJ
works exactly what it asks from the
who works: first, and most importf
all, that her manners be good ; secou
this is also of great importance, tl
knows how to dress to suit not o
occasion and place, but her pocl
Society finds nothing attractive in

Her Social Position 87

who, earning her own living in a modest
way, attempts to dress herself as elabo-
rately as the wife of a millionnaire.

What Society Demands from the

Workers

Then society demands of the girl who
works that, like the man from a lawyer's
office, like him from Wall Street, like the
one in business, or the other one who is a
teacher, she does not bring her work and
her implements into it ; that she does not
discuss ''what happened in the office" at
a dinner-table ; that playing a game is not
interrupted by her opinion on bookkeeping,
or that in the conversation after dinner she
does not tell of the early hour that must
find her at work. Society demands the
result of the work, but not the history of
the work itself. The well-mannered, well-
dressed, tactful, agreeable girl is welcomed.
That she is earning her own living is set
down to her credit, but if she allows her
conversation to drift to her work she will
quickly be exiled from good society.

88 Her Social Position

What Constitutes G-ood Societt.

The very best society is not composed of
gilt and glitter. It is that circle of pleas-
ant people who meet and visit because
they are interested in each other. It asks
of each member that she bring a pleasant
personality if she wishes to be in and of it.
The society recognized by the newspapers
consists merely of a few people, who, hav-
ing more money than the rest of the world,
are able to make themselves more conspic-
uous, and so are kept constantly before the
public. But all over this great country, in
every city, town, or little village, there is to
be found good society, and it rests with the
working-girl herself whether she is in or
out of it. If she has the bad taste to pre-
fer noisy people, whose idea of enjoymen
is roughness, whose conception of convex
sation is to talk scandal, and who real'
have no reason for existing, then this g
will not only injure herself by her contJ
with such society, but she will injure ev
other girl who works. People are pron<
judge a great regiment by one membe

Her Social Position 89

it. Therefore, it behooveth the girl who
works to go into the best society or to fiud
her pleasures in her own home.

The Girl Who Made Herself Unpopular

Last summer I met two girls. The first
one had not talked to me ten minutes before
she told me where she was employed, what
her salary was, how she hated to work, and
then all through her vacation she took the
position of an aggrieved girl — one whom
the world had treated badly since it forced
her to work. She looked with eyes of envy
upon another girl just as busy a worker as
she, but whose work happened to be in her
own home, and, no matter what the con-
versation might be, always managed to
bring in something about the slights shown
to the girl who works in an office. These
were imaginary. She looked for them. I
am tempted to believe that she longed for
them. When her neighbor preferred to
read rather than to talk she took that as an
affront ; when a lady went for a walk with
her little daughter without inviting her she
never thought that the mother and child

90 Her Social Position

might like to be alone together occasions
but decided at once that she had I
intentionally slighted. She made every
dislike her, and her departure for h
was greeted with pleasure.

The Girl Whom Evert One Liked

The other girl was agreeable, quiet,

dignified; she entered into all the 1
pleasures that were gotten up in the ho
never thrust herself forward, but occu]
her place among the group of ladies,
was her right. There were times when
sought solitude and her book; there ^
other times when, having made pleai
acquaintances, she went for walks or dr
with them. As invitations were exter
to her for these little trips, so she ^
them to others. And she passed her s
mer days without giving a thought, at 1
in words, to the work that she had
behind, and without thrusting before
one the fact that she earned her own liv
Two of the ladies in the house kne^^
Now understand me, she was not asha
of it, but as she was not at her work

Her Social Position 93

failed to see any necessity for talking abotirf
it, and she knew that she would only bore
people by recounting the worries of her
every-day life to them. Society asks for a
pleasant smile and an agreeable manner ; it
does not wish to be taken into any one's
confidence, and it finds no girl more
unpleasant than the one who takes it for
granted that she is to be slighted when no
slight is intended. Society is fair in its
payments. It gives value for value re-
ceived always.

When Society Adopted the Workers

Society is wise in its generation. It real-
ized not long ago that there were innumer-
able charming women within its fold who
could work, and who were ashamed to beg.
Society could not afford to lose these
women. Consequently it said : " We will
approve the woman who works, provided
she is a charming woman." You see,
society makes the proviso. Now for a
while it has been one of society's fads that
this woman or that woman should do this
work or that work, sometimes because she

Her Social Position

needed the money ; sometimes beca ise ia&.
had the business instinct, and wis'aed to
increase and multiply the dollars she already
possessed. And society smiled, ari4 the
working- women became many in number;
and then people who did not understand,
thought that this was a fancy that would
soon die out. But it has not and it will not.

Two Mistakes the Working-girl Makes

In this ever-changing world of ours there
will always be girls who must work, and
society cannot afford to disapprove of them.
But the girl who works is, at this very
minute, making the same mistake that is
too often made by the college girl : she is
concluding that she is liked because she
works; she has made up her mind that
there is something fine in that she does
work, and that, because she works and be-
cause of her work, she must be received.
Here she is wrong. The working-girl has
a position in good society because of her-
self. Her brother was not considered the
most agreeable man at a dinner the other
night because he was a good bookkeeper, but

Her Social Position g^

because lie was a bright man. And the girl
who works must learn that her social suc-
cess is attained because of her agreeable
qualities, and not because she is a quick
stenographer, an energetic business woman,
a successful author, a good illustrator, or a
clever saleswoman. Socially, her work is
secondai*y. She makes a great mistake if
she is ashamed of it, and a greater one still
if she continually talks about it.

Beware of another mistake. Last night
you had a charming time — you won the
prize in some intellectual contest, and you
think with pleasure how many clever people
were there, and yet you won the prize !
"Write a letter home telling all about it ; as
soon as is convenient give the good news to
your most intimate friend, but do not talk
of your social success or your social life in
the oflSce. Your employer may listen to
you because he is a polite man, and for
that reason only; his eyes are wandering
toward the neglected books or the waiting
letters, and you chatter along heedless of
duty. Perhaps you are reminded by word
or manner of your work then ; do not per-

94 Her Social Position

init yourself to be so undignified as to
notice his lack of interest, but cour ) teoudy
ask to be excused, and never comn.dtthe
same blunder again. Your employ 'er is
interested in your work. It is true thi \^he
would be sorry if you were ill or in troubiti^,
but during business hours he is devoting
himself to work, and he expects his em-
ployees to follow his example.

The Girl Who Works in Her Home

Because you are made much of socially
you are inclined to look with a disagreeable
condescension upon the girl who has found
her work very near to her — in her home.
You think of your independence and her
dependence; you forget that we all must
depend more or less upoi^ one another, and
that no girl is dependent who does her share
of work in her father's home. There are
girls who, day in and day out, work to
make the home the pleasant place that it
is ; there are girls who are busy, day in and
day out, teaching the younger children
music, or French, or whatever it may be, for
which service just now it is not convenient

Her Social Position 95

for the head of the household to pay; there
are girls nursing invalid mothers or sisters,
because trained nurses cannot be afforded,
and each one of these girls is as surely earn-
ing her own living as are you. It is simply
the difference in the work and the place.
You are fortunate enough, so the world
would say, to get money in exchange for
your work, while these other girls can only
expect gratitude, but your work is not one
bit more important than theirs — indeed,
there will always be a question as to whether
a girl's work in her home is not the most
important work of all.

Some Serious Social Mistakes

The girl who works is, like every other
girl, apt to make mistakes when she is out
in society. Sometimes, in her anxiety to
be agreeable, she talks too much and too
loud, and is too eager to convince the world
that she is having a good time. Then,
again, from absolute shyness she will shut
herself up in herself, hang back in a foolish
way, and so while she is in society, she will
yet not be 6t it. To be able to talk pleas-

g6 Her Social Position

antly in a quiet way, to be able to ch
without indulging in personalities, and t
be able to be one among all the others, i
the art of society. My girl must strike th
happy line between overconfidence and th
absolute lack of confidence. A young gii
is not supposed to be a leader ; therefore, i
she only comes in and enjoys herself afte
the fashion that has been arranged for he
she will be doing exactly what society es
pects of her. She must get over this beiuj
afraid of the sound of her own voice.

A girl wrote to me recently: "Some
times I think a girl's social success depend
upon her being beautifully dressed an<
having delightful surroundings, and then
see my theory bowled over by a girl whos-
people are poor and who is almost in rags.^
This, of course, is an extreme statement
but it is a true one. The personality of th-
girl makes her position.

The Error Which Girls Are Apt to

Make

The girl who works sometimes makei
one social mistake that is deeply to b

Her Social Position 97

regretted. She forgets the value of the
woman in society, and eaters only to the
men. With a party of women she is dull,
uninteresting, and impatient, but when the
men appear she grows bright, witty, and
attractive. Perhaps she does not stop to
think, but she ought to. The girl who
tries to please only the men will find, in a
short time, that she no longer gets invita-
tions to pleasant houses, while girls less
attractive are invited everywhere.

The old French proverb, " Seek for the
woman," — it was not meant in the sense in
which I use it, — is good advice, for if you
wish to be asked to pleasant houses, to
have pleasant times, and to meet pleasant
people, you must try to please the women.
The power of men, socially, is limited; it
is womankind who rules in society, and
who decides whether or not such or such
a girl shall be admitted. To the young
girl the friendship of the matron is in-
valuable, therefore, and well worth the
seeking.

I have said that the social position of
the working-girl is recognized. Now it is

98 Her Social Position

with her to be a success in society or not.
She is quick of wit, and she need make
no mistakes if she notes what the older
women do. She will be wise if she makes
for herself a friend of some woman in
society who is older than herself, and
who is kind of heart. But she must not
presume upon this kindness. The girl
who works, like the girl whose duties are
in her own home, must learn what tact
means.

A well-mannered, tastefully -dressed,
agreeable girl is a social delight. Beauty
is not a social necessity, but a desirable
personality is. Therefore, make yourself
agreeable. Share your pleasures with your
neighbor, and behold, when your neighbor
has a joy you will be invited to divide it
with her. Selfishness is a girl's social ruin.
Tact, which is society's word for considera-
tion and sympathy, is the art you must
cultivate. And what is tact after all? It
is saying and doing the right thing at the
right time and in the right place. And
that is nothing more than you are asked to
do by the greatest of all Teachers, "the

Her Social Position 99

* doing unto others as you would they should
do unto you."

Certain is it that the dictionary which is
considered an authority on both sides of
the water explains a virtue as " the human
quality ; goodness of heart ; right conduct.""
Now every girl who has even a little social
life desires, properly enough, to conduct
herself in a right manner, and to be pos-
sessed of at least some of the social virtues.
To my way of thinking these virtues are

J simply the knowing how to conduct one's
self properly, the having acquaintance with
the customs of the best society, and the
best society all over the world is that
which has for its foundation the considera-
tion of other people and their happiness.
Therefore, the wise girl, while she will

I train her mind so that she can be a good

I talker when that is necessary, will also

cultivate the art of listening, so that she
may give pleasure to those other people
who enjoy talking. It is not a crime to
be ignorant of the small virtues of society,
but it is a mistake, yet a mistake that any

A American girl can correct if she will keep

10400'

lOO Her Social Position

her eyes open and ask questions. She i
ask them, however, only of those whon
can trust, or whose duty it is to an
her.

When You Go a- Visiting

If your visit is to be one of several <
or weeks you must make your hostes
she has not been wise enough to state
her invitation, understand in your an
not 9nly exactly what time you will ar
but exactly the day and hour when you
leave, and you will show great wisdom i
matter how much you are enjoying youi
you refuse to prolong your visit. Di
your stay you must find everything pies
that your hostess arranges for you.
no special service of a servant. Thanl

! for any kindness she does for you.

1 must neither expect nor ask that

I laundry be done in the house, and

must take great care not to leave
dainty toilet-table or the pretty roc
disorder. I saw a beautiful duchesse '

\ entirely ruined by powder, perfume,

alcohol which had been spilled upoi

Her Social Position loi

not to mention the damage done by burns
in the lace from the dangerous curling
tongs. And this was because a girl was
careless, and had not been taught, and did
not realize that a lady was not a destroy-
ing animal. And after you return to your
home you should write a letter to the lady
you have been visiting, thanking her for
all the kindness she has shown you, and
sending your regards to the members of
her household.

At the Tajble

The bright girl who is not quite sure that
she is acquainted with all the social virtues,
asks me if she must say " thank you " to a
servant who offers her anything at the table.
No, it is not necessary for the ordinary
table service, but if a servant should pick
up a napkin which you have dropped or re-
store a fallen fan, then a quiet, almost a
whispered "thank you" is proper. She
also asks about the management of some
food, and here are a few general rules for
her: Never bite food of any kind. Break
your bread in small pieces; cut celery la

I02 Her Social Position

tits and then eat it from your fingers, a,,
enjoy your cheese by cutting small pieci
from the portion given to you, and, with tl
assistance of a knife, putting each on a b
of bread or toasted biscuit, and so convevir
it to your mouth. Common usage has mac
it proper to eat corn from the cob. It
never a pretty sight, but it is done, an
hence the action must be as delicate as poi
sible. A wise hostess usually selects vei
small ears of corn for her table.

Strawberries, when served on their stemi
are eaten from the fingers. An apple or
pear is pared, quartered, and then cut in bii
which may be conveyed to the mouth eith<
with the fingers or a fork, as one fanciei
Peel a banana with a knife, and cut off tl
small pieces that you wish to eat, usId
either your fingers or fork in conveying the:
to your mouth. Learn to eat an egg froi
the shell. It can be done if one will take
little trouble, and breaking it into a glaj
and mixing it up is not a pleasant sight.

If you take your meals in a public dining
room wear a simple street dress, and,
you fancy, a hat. If you are going oi

Her Social Position loj

after dinner, and have to dine in a public
dining-room, go there early enough to allow
yourself plenty of time to make your toilette
after dinner, but do not appear there in full
evening dress and sit where any man, with
the price of a dinner in his pocket, may
appear and stare at you.

This sermon is all text and no comment.
It is one that says, " This is done." And
it means that one will be much more com-
fortable, socially, if one does as other peo-
ple do, for then society itself runs on
smoother wheels. To say the right words,
to act in the right manner, makes one think
aright, and it is a social crime to do that
which is wrong. There is a vulgarism in
words as well as in manners and actions.
A much-laughed-about phrase that probably
had an innocent rise is "my gentleman
friend." I fear some nice girls do, thought-
lessly, use it. They forget that all their
friends are supposed to be ladies and gen-
tlemen. When you wish to speak of a
friend use his name if possible ; if not, say
" a man friend of mine." Natural courtesy
will teach you when to say " woman" or

I04 Her Social Position

"lady." The wash-lady may have every
instinct of gentility, but her position in life
does not cause the world to recognize this,
80 she has no right to the title. By the by,
remember that all slang is vulgar, no matter
how piquant it may seem, and that, even if
you are a leader socially, you cannot use an
improper phrase and be forgiven. It was
a great lady who was corrected by Beau
Brummel when she asked him to come and
take tea with her. " Madame," he said
with a bow, ''I take a walk, you take a
liberty, we drink tea."

Little things? Yes, but a tiny thorn
can make one's finger bleed, and a little
lack of knowledge can make all social life
uncomfortable.

WHEN SHE GOES TO CHURCH

MY girl is, I am always sure, a good
one. But, sometimes, I fear that
there are some ideas in her mind that are
not quite straight. She is a little young to
take up a serious question and consider it,
and so she drifts along in her own way and
does the best she can, and too often gets
false impressions. A year or two ago she
first knew, this dear girl of mine, that she
wanted to dedicate her life to God, and so
she publicly told of her allegiance and
united herself to the church in which she
had been educated, which she believed to
be right, or which satisfied her best. At
that time she was in a condition best de-
scribed by a French word — exaltee. This
means that, inspired with noble thoughts,
her heart and soul were lifted up, and for
a little while she gave no thought to the
duties of life, but only to its beauties. She

io6 When She Goes to ChurcA

was entirely spiritual. Then came the d.5
such an unhappy one, when life in j
barest aspect presented itself to her ar
she discovered that it meant work all tl
time, of one kind or another, and that
offer God beautiful thoughts and praye
was not enough.

For awhile her faith wavered, but as si
was a good girl this was only for a litt
time. Still she had to learn that to be 01
of God's children her life in the church ar
her life in the world must be harmoniou
What do I mean? Well, here is an ii
stance. Do you suppose that it was plea
ing to God, after she had lifted up h<
voice in song to praise Him, for her to fir
fault with another singer, lose her tempe
and declare that " never again, unlei
things are better, will I sing in that choir '
This made the beautiful song worthies
and the angels in Heaven shuddered at i
false notes when the singer's heart wj
laid bare to them. I know, like my girl
how this time came in my own life, and
thought I had been selected to live a beai
tiful spiritual life and nothing else. If

When She Goes to Church 107

gave a thought to the other side it was only
to be thankful that somebody else would
have the more material part, but that to me
would come the beautiful dreamlife of good-
ness that expressed itself in prayer, in
lovely flowers, and in sweet words. So I
know just how hard it is to waken and face
the realities, but, my dear, they are there,
and you have given nothing of any worth
to God unless you offer up your every-day
life, with its faults and its virtues, its fail-
ings and its successes. Do you remember
these lines :

" I slept, and dreamed that life was Beauty,
I woke, and found that life was Duty."

Now that is what you want to be, wide
awake and eager to combine beauty and
duty so that it makes a perfect harmony.

The Girl at Church

You pride yourself on your politeness.
You count yourself a well-mannered girl
and would be very indignant if you were
told that you were lacking in ordinary
politeness. When you are invited out yoa

io8 When She Goes to ChurcA

are careful not only to be prompt but t<
considerate of your hostess. What c
sideration do you show God when you
to His house ? Too often you come in h
seat yourself with a little noise, and do
hesitate to turn and twist until you 1
that your skirt is aiTanged exactly ri
and you are quite comfortable. Then ;
give a sigh as you look at the preacl
He is one whose sermons you do not adm
so while he is trying to do his duty ;
coolly read your prayer-book or hymnal,
look around the congregation, and catch
the eye of a friend, give a shrug of disgi
When the sermon is over you give veni
a sigh of thankfulness, and you never se
to realize that this bad behavior on y<
part is bad behavior not only to the clerj
man, but to that God whose representat
he is.

When the collection is taken up you k
here and there and everywhere to see "w
is depositing a bank-note. Before *
benediction is said you crane yourself 1
a bird with its plumage so that you will
ready to start out the very minute it

When She Goes to Church 109

ended. I do not suppose you realize for
a moment how dreadful this is. How it
is giving an opportunity to an unbeliever
to say, "What can these Christians think
of their God when they are so impolite to
Him?" Then you do something else. In
your church the pews are rented. When
you enter you close the door and give no
poor sinner an opportunity to sit beside
you, and yet, in the sight of God you are
all alike, and before Him the rich and the
poor stand together to be judged.

In the Sunday-School

You are either in a class or teach a class.
Possibly you do the latter, and when you
go home you say, " Oh, it is so nice having
children who belong to good families ; their
manners are so polite and they think of all
sorts of little things. One brings me a
bouquet of flowers, and another got up a
contribution at Easter, and the class gave
me a lovely book. It is so pleasant having
really nice children to teach." Well, my
dear girl, I suppose it is. But sit down
and think about it. Suppose, when Christ

no When She Goes to Church

came to Jerusalem, He selected the " really
nice " to teach. Where in His class would
have been Peter, the fisherman? Would
He have only spoken to Luke, who was a
doctor ? Would he have only given of His
great gifts to those who could offer some-
thing to Him? My dear girl, in teaching
God's word, it is not the "really nice"
that you must seek out, but those who are
hungry for help, those who are starved
spiritually and who reach out and ask for
bread. And you offer too often, because
you want to keep your class '' really nice,"
a stone.

Then, perhaps, you are not teaching;
you are in the Bible class. With a shrug
of your shoulders and an irritated expres-
sion you say to your mother, ''I had to
sit next to a horridly stupid girl; I don't
know who she is, but I don't think she is
in the same set that we are." " The same
set ! " Will that be the set to whom at the
last day will be said : " Well done, thou
good and faithful servants, enter into the
joys prepared for you " ? Only God knows
this. And the girl who seemed to you

When She Goes to Church 1 1 1

stupid, whose gown you described as com-
mon, and who had not the prestige of your
"set," may have the great joy of being in
God's set. 1 tell you you can afford to
offend none, and if you are worthy of
studying God's word you must extend to
every one in the class the gentleness and
consideration that the real gentlewoman,
who is the perfect Christian, would not
only show but live.

In Good Society

There is a church in one of our large
cities about which it is said that the pews
are only occupied by people " in good
society." When a pew is to be let, which
happens very seldom, a large crowd col-
lects, and the bidding, for a professional
auctioneer attends to it, is very exciting;
and rich men and women are most anxious
to give their money to obtain a seat among
the elect of this world. Sometimes I go
there, and I wonder who it was that first
started the idea that the church was a
social ladder leading to companionship
among the wealthy and the great. Do I

112 When She Goes to Churd

believe that a rich woman can be a (

tian? Most certainly. But I believe

[j it is more diflScult for her to live th<

approved by God than it is for the p

woman. Her obligations are greater,

she must show more care in the givii

her alms and bestow more thought i

her appearance and conduct because

may be judged by even the least of t

j , ; Now I want my girl to remember th£

■ the churches are God's houses; that

1 not " my church," nor "your church,^

God's church, and that when she is i

to go where all the people are in

society, she is too often electing for he

a position in the very poorest of socie

the hereafter.

Not long ago I heard a woman say

brusquely: ''The charity racket is pi

' ; if out; no woman can get into a set si

because she is on a hospital board

' some howling swells." Of course,

speech was unkind but it reflecte<

honest spirit of indignation on the spea

^ part, and I am human enough to hope

every woman who does a good deed si

■

• I

When She Goes to Church 1 13

because she hopes she will gain social posi-.
tion thereby will be dissappointed. Did
Mary and Martha, when they ministered to
the gentle Teacher, look forward to being
high in Jewish society? Did Saint Paul,
when he knew who was the true God, hope
that socially he would gain by his work?
Oh, ray dear, it is all so poor and so mean
when you do your duty with even a thought
as to what the world will give you, or what
the world will think. And I do not want
you to be that kind of a girl. I want you
to do right because it is right, not hoping
for a reward.

It is pleasant to work among congenial
people, but you can, if you will try, find
the best in those who, just at first, did not
seem quite what you like your friends to
be. There are hidden jewels of great
beauty in the soul, waiting, maybe, for you
to discover and enjoy.

The Church Costume

It is most correct that a respect should
be shown to God's house by one's appear-
ance. But it must also be remembered

114 When She Goes to Church

that the church is not the proper place tc
display finery. Who among us has not seei
a girl rustle in with her silk frock, devote
much time to its arrangement, cause i
commotion by the jingling of her numeroui
bangles, and contrive to fasten upon hersel
the eyes of the congregation as the plumei
in her bonnet nod first this way and thei
that? Often this is done in ignorance o
the right and wrong. Decency in apparel
quietness and cleanliness in appearance ar«
the necessities for church-going. In th<
very large cities many women are following
a very proper French fashion, which elects
that ladies shall wear to church a quie
black stuff gown and a hat or bonnet not h
the least conspicuous. There are othe
places for the silk frocks and plumes, an(
I beg of my girl, wherever she may be, t<
constitute herself a leader by wearing t<
ser\ice her simplest gowns, omitting all he
jewelry and putting on a very modest hat.
A girl who is conscious of her clothei
can never be interested either in sermon o
prayer. Almost unconsciously, she wil
look around the church to see how the othe

When She Goes to Church 115

girls are dressed, and in time her going to
church will only be a couple of hours de-
voted to finding out all about the frocks
possessed by her neighbors. Think this,
over and save your fiills and frivols, which
I do not say you ought not to have, for
some other time tlian that hour or two on
Sunday which should be dedicated to God»

The Material Life

It must be lived out well. All the hymns,
all the prayers, all the scripture readings
are as nothing unless you make their beauty
come into your daily life. Take some of
the care off the shoulders of the busy
mother; make life seem more pleasant by
your gracious thought of that father who
toils all day long. Make it easier for a sis-
ter to dislike the wrong and do the right;
show a brother the rosy side of the cross
and so make it lighter for him to carry.
And do all this, not with loud protestations,
but quietly and gently, letting God's name
be whispered in your heart, and being only
the sister and daughter without forcing the
knowledge that you are the Christian.

1 1 6 When She Goes to ChurcK.

Then, very soon, some one will realize th?
your beautiful life is lived for Christ's sak^^
and then you will represent Him as s^^"^
women should, not by speaking from tt^
pulpit, not by giving commands, but t:^
living every day the life that He woui^
wish should be yours.

To you it may seem a bit difficult, and
you may long to do great things, but if you
dedicate all the littleness of life to Him you
will be surprised to find that the great deeds
are as nothing. Did you ever look closely
at an India shawl? The curious pattern
is formed of so many little pieces, all differ-
ent in color, but all in harmony. Each is
carefully sewed to the other with a bit of
thread suited to both, and so it represents
a life work. The tiny cares come, are
borne bravely, fastened to those other bur-
dens by the thread of belief, until, in the
sight of God, so well is the life's work done,
that what seemed a care becomes a beautiful
virtue, and all go to make up the complete
story of yourself : the harmony you in-
troduced by your willingness to make the
best of whatever comes, and so it is al

When She Goes to Church 117

lovely in the sight of Him who knows just
how hard it is to live. I should like you to
think about this, and to realize that the
smallest burden, carried on willing shoul-
ders and made the best of, becomes a great
beauty in the sight of God.

A Commonplace Life

You see the trouble is with you, my dear
girl, that you count little things as of no
worth. Where we have one great renunci-
ation to make, we have a thousand little
ones, and life, which you are inclined to call
commonplace, is not so, for every day can
be made rich m beautiful deeds. God, who
is just, is merciful, and when temptation
comes to you, even if you fail. He remem-
bers that you tried to do what was right,
and so is tender in His thought of you.
There is not one of us who achieves, even
for one day, what we long to. But, my
dear, we can always try for it. We can be
ready for the trouble that is before us and
equip ourselves by prayer and good thoughts
so that we can meet it bravely, and, possibly,
overcome it. Of course, that is what we

1 1 8 When She Goes to Church

wish to do, and yet if we are not strong
enough, if we fall by the wayside, we must
get up and try again, and keep on trying.
That, in itself, will give us strength. And
as the years go on and youth belongs to the
past, it will always, because of this trying,
be easier to do that which is right and merit
"that peace which passeth all understand-
ing." And when the day comes for our
eyes to be closed to this world we can say ;

" Not what I did, but what I strove to do ;
And though the full ripe ears be sadly few
Thou wilt accept my sheaves."

IN HER TIME OF SORROW

ONLY a woman knows how sensitive
is the heart of a girl ; how easily it
is hurt ; how easily, by a careless word or
an indifferent look, it may be made to feel
so heavy that it becomes a veritable burden.
There are few of us, remembering our girl-
hood, who do not know that suffering — in-
tense suffering — is brought to a girl of ten-
est by those who love her best, and of tenest
with no intention of wounding her. It is
not always easy for a girl to be brave of
heart. The world and its bitter experiences
is like an unread book, and a girl can only
become courageous, as men become heroic,
through suffering.

The Art op Making Other People Happt

Some supersensitive girls almost invite
the pain from which they suffer so keenly.
And the getting into this state of mind is

I20 In Her Time of Sorrow

one of which I would like all my girls to
beware. Just at first you are sensitive to
what seems an unkind word; in a little
while you doubt even the kind word if the
mode of expressing it does not seem as
hearty as it should. And in a shorter time
than seems possible, you busy yourself look-
ing for the word that was never meant, for
the tone that was never thought of, and for
the neglect that was never intended. You
have simply, my dear girl, gotten yourself
into a morbid state, where the tears are
quick to come. The heart is heavy, and
you are a sorrow not only to yourself, but
to every one around you. The antidote?
It is a very practical one. Busy yourself
in making other people happy. Relieve
somebody else of some of the burdens o
life. Work, and work so hard and so we^
that you will not have time to analyze a
the talk that is going on, and being a he
rather than a hindrance, you will find yo
heart growing light, the smiles comi
oftener than the tears, and you, yoursc
will be glad because you are of some us(
the world.

In Her Time of Sorrow 121

That is the way to look at it. There are
times when life seems a heavy load to carry,
but remind yourself that God has put this
burden upon you, and what you make of it,
it will be. W hether a heavy load or a crown
of glory, be sure that it is wisdom to lift it
up gladly, bear it with a brave heart, and
lay it down, as you can, if you will,
triumphantly.

The Little Worries That Test
Character

To each one of us there come great sor-
rows and great joys. These are the events
of life. The sorrow or the gladness surges
over one, calls forth all of one's mental
strength, is endured or enjoyed, and then
is over. It is the little worries that, com-
ing into your life, are going to make you
either a woman of worth or a woman of
worthlessness. Which are you going to
be? Are you going to allow yourself to
carry about with you a heavy heart because
you think you have been injured ? During
the long day it is possible that the mother
who loves you best has no time to say a

122 In Her Time of Sorrow

loving word to you; her hours are filled
with loving deeds. You come in from
school, or from the pleasure that her self-
denial has made possible; you approach
her with a pleasant greeting. She may
smile, but she is too busy to answer it in
kind. You go away feeling yourself a
mnch-abused creature. You count yourself
misunderstood, and you almost doubt
whether your mother loves you. Foolish
girl! Think of all that your mother has
done for you ; think of the loving, tender
words that were said to you when you were
in real sorrow ; when you wept because of
a great disappointment, a disappointment
that the rest of the world would have
thought small, but which your mother
understood, as only a mother can.

Putting Yourself out of the Circle

You were with a party of friends — you
were one in that group who did not know
about the book which was being discussed,
the strange country the others had visited,
or the people of whom they talked. Grad-
ually you drifted out of the conversation,

In Her Time of Sorrow I2J

and slowly, but certainly, there came over
you a sense of neglect. You were con-
vinced that your presence was not desired^
You were certain that nobody was inter--
ested in you. And you drew away from
the rest and allowed your heart to grow
heavy — for what? A little act of forget-
fulness. And yet, how easy it would have
been for you to have listened with interest
to whatever was under discussion, and to
have shown your appreciation of the topic
by asking some questions concerning it*
The time will come when you will be the
one who is absorbing all the attention, and
how will you like your friends to behave to
you as you have behaved to them ? Putting
yourself in somebody's else place is a good
antidote against the heaviness that comes
when you allow yourself to think that you
have been neglected.

You are busy in the workaday world try-
ing not only to earn the bread and butter
for yourself, but to give a helping hand to
others. It may be that it is the little chil-
dren at home; it may be that it is the
mother whom you love ; it may be any one

124 In Her Time of Sorrow

* of those who are loved and respected who
need help, for whom jou are working so
i-faithfully.

When Hungering for Commendation

You are a brave girl, and you keep on
tioing right, but once in a while your heart
grows as heavy as lead, and with a living
sorrow. Everything that you do seems to
be taken for granted. Every act of self-
denial is only regarded as a duty that you
should be glad to assume. And you would
like, once in a while, to have a word of com-
mendation. Such words mean more than
people dream of to the girl like you, who is
giving her life, day in and day out, for
others. It is more than possible that those
to whom you are so generous never dream
of the praise for which your heart is
hungry. They think that you know how
well and how thoroughly they appreciate all
that you do, and are quite conscious of all
your unselfishness, although they may not
seem to be mindful of it.

But after all, being only a girl, you
would like the appreciation to be given to

In Her Time of Sorrow 125

you in spoken words. Not because you
wish to have your good deeds whispered
around the world, but when you are giving
so much of yourself, the words of loving
commendation, the kiss that would ac-
company them would be like a cup of cold
water given to the thirsty traveller in the
desert. You would be encouraged to work
better, and to be even less selfish, and your
heart would be made glad if you could feel
that those for whom you work understood
you and sympathized with every little plea-
sure and every little worry in your life.

Keep on Doing That Which is Right

But suppose the word of appreciation is
never said to you ; suppose your life of self-
denial is accepted merely as a duty — then
what shall you do? It seems like cold
comfort, but, my girl, you must try and be
as brave as you can and keep on doing that
which is right. The knowing that one is
doing the best that one can for those who
are helpless is, after all, a great reward.
The knowledge that somebody else is a
little warmer, has a little better food, or

126 In Her Time of Sorrow

that a little child may go to school, or thai
a younger girl than yourself is being trained
to help you — I tell you, my girl, it is fine,
even if the word of commendation nevei
comes in this world, to feel in your owe
heart that God approves. T never feel sc
proud of American girls as I do when 1
think that so many of them are working
honestly and quietly to help those who are
weak and helpless. And I do believe mosi
sincerely that God, being merciful as wel
as just, will give them a reward here as wel
as hereafter. So if, in the office, at th
desk, in the store, or wherever the workin
hours may be spent, you feel your heart
bit heavy, think over all that I have sa'
and let your heart grow light.

"When Death Comes to Your Home

To you whose heart is heavy, bee
death has entered your home, there s
to have come the greatest of all g
But, my friend, the grief of death
nothing to the living grief. To thir
may give you no consolation while t
row is fresh. But when your inten

In Her Time of Sorrow 127

has quieted a little try and remember how
many other sorrows there are, and compare
your own with them. Each girl to whom
has come the loss of a loved one suffers in
her own way. And I do not say to her, for-
get that one who is dead, and blot him out of
your life. But I do say to her, think of him
kindly and justly, for we are too prone to
remember our dead in a foolish way : too
prone to give them virtues which they never
possessed, talents of which they had no
knowledge, and in this way to make our
very sorrow lack the dignity it should
possess.

When some one has gone out of your
life you have every right to grieve, but you
have no right to let the sorrow for the
dead so fill your life that those who live
and love you are neglected. You have no
right to make an idol of that one who is no
longer with you, and to neglect and be
chary of your love to those who are alive,
and, like you, suffering. Death, when it
comes, usually makes of a girl a woman ;
and it has long ago been realized that it is
the duty of a woman to be the consoler.

128 In Her Time of Sorrow

She must be the one who makes all life
better for her being in it, because, in
hour of great desolation, she must. look f
ward to the future.

No Grief Must Become a Burden

In the household where the father 1
been taken away, too often there is 1
question staring you in the face of how
care for all the others. You have no ri«
to sit down and nurse your heavy hea
No matter how weak your heart may fe
you must, by the grace of God, inoculate
with bravery, go out and face the world a
do whatever seems to be your duty. '
mourn and mourn for the dead becomei
sin. No giii has a right to make her gr
a burden to the rest of the world. It
true that when this sorrow comes to you
this sorrow of death — a deep wound m
be made in your heart. But, my friend,
wounds heal if they are properly treats
Ask the Great Physician to show you h<
to bear this sorrow which has come ir
your life.

In ller Time of Sorrow 129

Finding Strength and Solace in Prayer

I have 'said nothing to you about prayer,
because each one must do as her heart
dictates. You may feel that you can throw
all your grief aside, because God will help
you, while another, less quick to realize
that sorrows purify, that it is the sorrows
of life that make us strong, will have to
wait many hours, perhaps many days, be-
fore she can feel that God will help her,
and that He has done that which was best
for her. It is hard, — ah, my girl, I know
it as well as you, — but when we can bring
ourselves to see why we were made to suf-
fer, then the time has come when we can
thank God for our every grief.

Fine Clothes do not Count for Much

Perhaps you feel that you look shabby.

You have gone to make a visit to a friend's

house in the country, and you find there

a group of girls who are charmingly

dressed. You are suddenly conscious that

your hat is not of the newest shape. You

ijo In Her Time of Sorrow

are certain that your gloves are not immac-
ulate, and you feel overwhelmed with mor-
tification because your gown has not the
stylish air peculiar to the newest fashion.
You let your heart grow heavy because yoa
feel that you do not appear well, and yet,
my dear girl, the world does not think so
much of fine clothes as you imagine.

Be courageous, force yourself to be pleas-
ant, and say the bright thing that comes to
your lips. Give your friends credit for
thinking more of what you know and what
you are than of your personal appearance,
and try your best to look with admiration
at the pretty belongings of the other girls,
while with your admiration there must not
be a particle of envy. Hard ? Of course
it is hard. You are just as young, just
as pretty, and just as attractive as your
friends; but if fortune has given to them
some good gifts that have not come to you,
be sure that in this world everything is
equalized, and comfort yourself by think-
ing that you possess something which these
girls have not. Your shabby gown may
represent some special self-denial that each

In Her Time of Sorrow 131

girl would be glad to make. Perhaps you
are saving the money to help along the
sister whose voice is to be trained, while
that other girl whose frock is so fine is
lonely in having no sister to whom she may
dedicate her life.

Making Your Life one op Selp-denial

Remember that the mere outer shell is
not everything. It is true that it is your
duty to make yourself look as well as pos-
sible, but having done this duty, do not
allow yourself to grow morbid because the
casket is not as fine as the soul that it en-
shrines. Think what you have in life that
is good. Think out what the future is to
hold for you, and then you will forget these
petty worries, and your heart will grow
light, and the world will seem full of sun-
shine. To yourself make a jest of the
much-worn frock and the old-fashioned hat,
see the funny side of it, and remember
that there is many a bright brain under a
hat many seasons old, and that an old-
fashioned bodice may cover a very happy
heart. We all know what it is to be grieved

132 In Her Time of Sorrow

about one's personal appearance. Every
one of us has longed either for beauty of
person or beauty of apparel, but if we can
make the days brighter for others, and
make our own lives full of self-denial,
then, like that sweet flower, the mignonette,
our qualities will surpass our chaims.

Who ever enjoyed a piece of mignonette
because of its appearance ? It is a quiet,
brown-looking little flower, never in fashion
like the orchid, but sweet-smelling, fresh-
looking, and a veritable joy, whether it be
blooming in a big garden or standing in a
glass on the table or desk in your room.

I meant this talk to be one that would
suggest to you the virtue of a glad heart.
I hoped it would be one that would help
you understand how, when the heart is
heavy, it may be made light. But I shall
have done what I most of all wish if I can
make any one of my girls believe that there
is always a remedy for a heavy heart. It
may be in work — it oftenest is. It may
be in thinking out the joys that have been
given to you, and the sorrows from which
you have been saved. It may be in help-

In Her Time of Sorrow 13 j

iDg others by sympathy, or in whatever
way help is most needed. But the heavy
heart can always be made light if self is
forgotten, and the needs of others are re-
membered, and, as far as possible, relieved.

Not one of us can learn to become light-
hearted in a day, or a week, or a month, or
a year, for it is the lesson of life, this
knowing how to lift our hearts up, and give
from them help unto those who are in need.
It is a good light — this one against allow-
ing one's self to be submerged in personal
griefs — it is a good fight, and out of it you
can come conqueror if you will.

Do you intend to give up the fight and
fall by the wayside overcome by a heavy
heart, or to go along through life as a brave
woman should ? You must decide this early
in your life. And you will, I feel sure,
decide to do that which is right, and then
your heart will never be heavy, nor your
conscience disturbed, unless you fall. And
when you fall, thank God, you can always
rise again if you keep up a brave heart

A GIRL'S BEST READING

IT goes without saying that every girl, at
some time in her life, reads some books.
It is equally true that there are many, many
girls who find their greatest pleasure in
books, but who, alas! lack the fine art of
choosing them, or the equally fine art of
reading them. One of the greatest men in
the world, as well as one of the greatest
readers in the world, whose words of wis-
dom are always appreciated — I mean Mr.
Gladstone — once said : " He who reads
that in which he is not interested merely
wastes his time," and this I believe to be
true. The same great student, at the age
of seventy-eight, studied Hindustanee, and
invariabl}^ kept three books going — one a
book to which he was giving absolute study,
another a book of fine essays or some special
specimen of good English, and another a
novel — a veritable romance; and he flew

A Girl's Best Reading 135

from one to the other just as fancy led him,
never losing the key to either one of the
three, and being the gainer rather than the
loser by his own method of enjoying books.

One of the Arts of Reading

If a girl cares nothing for long accounts
of scenery and only for the story itself, and
happens to take up one of William Black's
novels, she need not force herself to read
that which does not interest her, but with
the skill of a good reader she may skip the
long descriptions of mountains and brooks,
of hillside and meadow, and grasp only the
story.

It is true that we read either to gain
pleasure or with some special object in
view. Now, the girl who has time to take
up some special subject and work over it,
storing her mind with this certain branch
of knowledge, is assisted not only by the
encyclopaedias and various books of refer-
ence, but she must learn herself to choose
the books most useful to her, though in any
of the gi'eat public libraries there are inva-
riably intelligent men who can greatly help

136 A Girl's Best Reading

the student unless she has some foolish
feeling about asking. But she is not the
girl to whom I am talking. The girl whom
I have in my mind is the one who, whether
she is busy in the workaday world or assists
in her own home, has a certain amount of
time during the day or in the evening to
enjoy a book, and she expects, as she takes
it up, to get real pleasure from it.

The Value of Reading Poetry

A woman who has the reputation of talk-
ing well and yet who laughingly says that
very learned books never interest her,
credits her rapid flow of language entirely
to the fact that as a girl she committed to
memory a great deal of poetry.

There is some poetry which I would not
care to have my girls read, but there is
much poetry that is delightful, that makes
one feel better for having read it, and
which really does bring about a certain
state of happiness and ideality that it is
good for one to feel. Do you remember
how your heart kept time with the ringing
words of the pathetic story of "Baby

A Girl's Best Reading 137

Belle"? Shall you ever forget the heart-
beats that came to you, the proper indigna-
tion that was yours, and the sense of the
reality of love that reached you, when body
and mind seemed enveloped in "Aurora
Leigh"? These times come to every girl
who loves to read ; who often does enjoy a
thousand times more the cheap little edition
that she possesses and which she can mark
with a pencil than the finely bound uncut
edition of the rich collector. I feel myself
a girl again when I look at a little copy of
*' Aurora Leigh," marked and remarked by
two pencils, though the hand of one — the
hand that made the heaviest stroke — will
never be raised in this world again. I believe
in poetry for girls. I believe, my dear girl,
every good poem you read is going to make
better what would be called the ideal side
of your nature, and is going to make you
appreciate what is really melody in words.
You all know the old books of poetry,
and it seems to me that there is not much
that is thoroughly good among the new
except those written by the poet of our
time, Rudyard Kipling. Perhaps you may

138 A GirFs Best Reading

not care for his enthusiastic description <
the British soldier, but I believe it w
arouse all the patriotism and respect
you when your lips say over and over tl
words of the great " Recessional," sin-
the warning sounds as if it were from G<
Himself, '* Lest we forget."

You can arrange a long list of the old
poets in whom you will find pleasur
Naturally, begin with Shakespeare, ar
then come down, not very far, to the tv
Brownings, then to some parts of Byroi
then to that unhappy boy, John Keats, the
to Pope, then to some parts of Shelley, th€
to Tennyson, and, looking for the great sou
right in our own home, you will meet ao
greet Aldrich, the gentle; Sidney Lanie
the musician; Poe, the mystic; and, bei
of all for every girl, Longfellow. Thei
are many other great poets, but I do nc
want to make this talk about books merel
a catalogue.

Books Which are Rich with Pearls

It was Rider Haggard who said that f roi
even the trashiest novel some bit of know!

A Girl's Best Reading 139

edge could be gained. But whether it is
worth while going through the trashiest
novel to find this pearl is something you
must decide. I think that while now there
are so many good books sold at cheap
prices or to be obtained at free libraries,
you can read good books rich with pearls
for which no searching is required. You
want to know a little of the history of this
world, you are too busy to read everything
about it, and so you wonder what you had
better take up. You must limit yourself to
a few books, because a busy girl should not
read every night of her life. Therefore,
begin with Sir John Lubbock's " Origin of
Civilization," and after that take " Macau-
lay's History of England " and '' Guizot's
History of France." You wonder that I do
not advise Carlyle ! Why should you swal-
low so much bitterness even with the sweet
truth ? Then, having gained a good idea of
the old countries, you come over and con-
quer the new one as you read Irving's
*' Conquest of Granada," Prescott's '* His-
tory of the Conquest of Mexico," and after
that I think you will be helped more if,

I40 A Girl's Best Rea(

Instead of reading a greal
the Uaited States, ;ou take
of books eutitled " America
wealths," tliat give direct inl
garding each State. Natun
read, other books will suggest
you. The story of Englaud
you to huat all you can of
Henry VHI. or the gay, rollic
the Stuarts or the pitiful li
Queen of Scots ; while the sto
will drive you almost with a 1
though you are a williug slav
maiitic novels that tell of the 1
XIV., of the gay and sorrow
Marie Antoinette, of the st
young man who worked for
which grew so great that he
Empire, and yet, standing so
greater in his fall than he ha<J
days of his splendor. By tlie I
thinking of one Napoleon you
know about another, so .take i
of talks on the Napoleons and
relations that have been writtt
de Saint Amand. In these b<

A Girl's Best Reading 141

be told not only of the men, but of the
women of the Bonaparte family, and you
will learn the real story of the beautiful
girl who, by her sweet face and charming
manners, though lacking riches, won the
heart and name of the Emperor of the
French.

The Books Which Tell of Great

People

Perhaps, like me, you love best those
books that are about people who have lived,
loved, and, in most cases, have died. In
this connection there are all the standard
biographies to choose from, but in addition
I want you to take some others. I want
you to read '' The Life of Charlotte Bronte "
— the most recent one. It will teach you
how a family of girls, living in the direst
poverty amid the poorest surroundings, and
in a country where the very ground and the
trees spoke of poverty, yet made for them-
selves an ideal world, and cultivated their
imaginations so that books that live forever
were the children of their brains. Then
take up the story of another girl who, up

142

A Girl's Best Rea(

to the time of her death, joj
pleasure to girls aod found gn
in mothering some boys who 1
motherless. Bead the life o
Alcott by her friend Ednah
Then, to know what wonieu wer
years ago, learn of the life
Power Cobb as told by hersel
letters of that unhappy woma
lyle; or read, learn, and iowan
folly of morbidness as shown
Marie Bashkirtseff.

If it interests you to know h
love his mother, or to know t
one of a trio of beautiful and t
the three lovely Sheridans,
library for ' ' The Songs, Poemt
with a Memoir, of Lady Hele
by her sod, the Marquis of
Ava.

You want to know about Th
long to know about Dickens,
may be your favorite poet
there comes a desire to you tc
how each lived and wrote, v
i walked through t)

A GirFs Best Reading 143

London poring over a book, jostling the
passing crowd and being jostled by it, or
whether, like many another, his poems came
from his heart and he did not wear his heart
upon his sleeve for human daws to peck at.
You must read the life of that most genial
man, Robert Louis Stevenson, and when the
large book of his letters is published by his
special friend, Sydney Colvin, do not allow
yourself to forget about it. Learn all that
is possible about books and people from
that most cheery of writers and poets,
Oliver Wendell Homes.

Books that Delineate Types

You will never make a mistake in reading
any or all of the books written by Mrs.
Whitney, and if you love to have with your
story something that tells of the different
types of people through the country, then
take up the stories in which Mary E.
Wilkins delineates New England life.

The books of Maria Louise Pool show
New England life in its thrift and Southern
life in its thriftlessness, while for stories
among those mountains where people know

144 A Girl's Best Reading

nothing of the outside world, many of them
never having seen a steam engine, select
the novels of Charles Egbert Craddock,
For an absolute contrast pick up " Cran-
ford," the best picture of quiet life in old
England that was ever drawn, and surely it
was by a pencil that understood the art of
shading, for it was held in the hand of Mrs.
Gaskell.

It may be you do not care for the dialect
novel, but whether you do or whether you
do not you will read " The Little Minister/*
by Barrie, with greater enthusiasm than any
Scotch girl would display.

Written on your ticket, as you hand it up
to the smiling librarian, is the name of
*' Marion Crawford," and you take the lat-
est of his books — those that tell of family
life in Italy, those that picture in the very
best English the real truth about Italy.

Close by your hand is a book with an odd
title, " The Dreamers of the Ghetto," by
Israel Zangwill. Then you remember " The
Children of the Ghetto" and "The Trag-
edies of the Ghetto," and you pay a few
pennies extra to take out this new book.

A Girl's Best Reading 145

feeling that the opportunity to possess it
may not happen soon again. In it, my
friend, is a sketch of that greatest of
dreamers — and yet that most practical of
men, since he made a Queen an Empress —
a sketch of Benjamin Disraeli, that will
make you wonder where the writer gained
his descriptive powers and how he could so
easily read the heart of the man.

There are many other good books, — the
novels of Anthony Hope, for instance, — and
I should like you to read "A Chance Ac-
quaintance" and "Their Wedding Jour-
ney," by William Dean Howells.

There are all the books of the " Duchess,"
who, while she may have been a little en-
thusiastic over fashionable society, was
always clean and sweet in her words and
works, so that they can well be marked
*'good."

The Old and the New School

Dickens and Thackeray, Balzac and
Bulwer-Lytton, belong to the old school,
but if you, remember the desirable things
to possess are " old books to read, old

146 A Girl's Best Reading

wood to burn, and old friends to be joyous
with," you will return to them again and
again.

Then, to please me, read " Social Life in
old Virginia," by Thomas Nelson Page; you
will find yourself way back in the time
when we just ceased being colonies and were
an ambitious, though not a great Republic.
Every girl who has read the story of " John
Halifax " will be better for it.

During these autumn days, when you are
too busy to enjoy a long story, read one of
the many books of short stories that have
lately been published and which are taken
from every nation, the best story of each
writer being chosen and carefully translated.
There are many of these books, and whether
you want to read what the great men of
Germany, France, Italy, or of Russia hav
written, you can get the book and find i
it many charming tales, while the pri
demanded for it is little.

Some day when you have made up y<
mind that some other day you will tra'
go to the library and ask for a book c^
" The Great Streets of the World." It

A Girl's Best Reading 147

tell you of the jostling of Broadway and
Piccadilly, the beauty of the Boulevards of
Paris and Unter den Linden in Berlin, and
the wonder of the streets in the older and
stranger cities; then when you close your
book and your eyes you will have been so
pleased and so impressed that that night
you will dream you are promenading on the
finest street in St. Petersburg with the Czar
as your escort !

The Books it is Well to Leave Unread

The books that idealize vice, the books
that make the wicked triumphant and show
crime as a power, are the books that leave
a nasty taste in your mouth and make you
feel as if you would like a dose of mental
calomel; it is well to leave such books
alone.

But a good novel ! Is there anything
equal to it? Think of the story of " Henry
Esmond ; " think of the pleasures and joys
that came to him, and then, sympathizing
with him in his disappointments, being
proud of him in his successes, following his
fortunes into this new land, you will go

148 A Girl's Best Reading

among the Virginians and there read how
he was loved and respected. Or choose
the ''Tale of Two Cities" and learn how
one man can give his life for another because
he loved much. Do you good? Such books
can do nothing else. No really good novel
ever induced a girl or a woman to imitate
vice or to despise wtue. The novel is the
printed panorama of life, and the tears, the
smiles, and the heart-beats that we, the
readers, give to it. It makes the music
that now is almost still, again is wUd and
weird like that of Hungary, and again has
all the majesty of one of Mozart's masses.
If you want to enjoy yourself, if you want
to make life seem better and happier, lose
your own personality in a good book.
Like the preacher of old, " 1 speak whereof
I know."

WHEN VACATION COMES

THE girl behind the counter, the girl
who sits at a desk, the girl whose
busy fingers make beautiful bonnets and
gowns for other girls to wear, the girl who
hears the click of the typewriter all the day
long, the girl who, living the right life,
doing her work conscientiously, is called the
working-girl, — is a brave girl, to whom I
feel very near. When the summer days are
at their longest and the sun begins to shine
fiercely, she gets her vacation. Sometimes,
more 's the pity, the days of rest are very
few. Sometimes, and this is oftenest, she
has for rest and enjoyment two whole
weeks. Now, I like to think that, during
that two weeks, she gets much happifiess
and much real rest. This she can only do
if she has planned her outing, knows ex-
actly how much money she can spend, where
she will be and what she will require. It

150 When Vacation Comes

may be that the vacation is a going home
It may be that the vacation is boardinj
either in the country or at the seaside
Wherever it is I hope she will be wis
enough to choose to have an absolute chang
of air, food, and people, for it is only in thi
way that mind and body alike will hav
rest and refreshment.

About Her Arrangements

First of all, there are her clothes. Beinj
a pretty girl she likes to look well, and
like to have her possess this desire, but '.
do not like to have her put all her money ii
one elaborate frock, and be unfitted, as fa
as dress is concerned, for any other tim<
except the evening. The chiffon gown i
unsuitable to the girl that I have in min^
Asking for my advice, I say to her, hav
two or three pretty cotton frocks for you
outing, one a sheer thin batiste, which nee(
not cost over twelve and a half cents i
yard, but which can be made up with somi
cheap ribbons to look as dainty and pretty
as possible, quite elaborate enough for an;
summer evening entertainment. Let th<

When Vacation Comes 151

other two cottons be a little thicker, and
wear them in the morning, and be sure you
will always feel fresh and will look properly
dressed for the hour and the place. The
wool skirt which you have already, will,
with a cotton blouse, constitute your travel-
ling dress, for you will not require a jacket,
nor a sleeper get-up, since your time on the
train will not be very long. Freshen up
your shoes, see that the underwear that
goes with you is in good condition, if pos-
sible get one new pair of gloves, and having
attended to all these things there will be
nothing but pleasure waiting for you during
your holiday trip.

The Place Itself

You who are not going home will be wise
in choosing a quiet country village for your
resting-place, inasmuch as the more fashion-
able places would absorb all your money for
board, and you would be thrown among
people living a different life from your own,
and there would always be the fear that
seeing so much of those who know nothing
of the workaday world you might grow dis-

152 When Vacation Coi

coateated. I like to think of y
a. pleasant little town, close en
country for agreeable drives and
and yet where you will meet ni
their friends, have a glimpse of
and when the time is over go
fresh determination to succeed
you do, and always to hope
summer days will be repeated.

Do not let anybody persuade
to another city, for if you do yoi
loll away your days in the hou
be able to go out when the su
down. What you need is to I
open air, and to rest after the
pleases you best. It may be th
decided to reatl a couple of be
you would put on your light c
fix a shady corner for yourself
your story. It may be that y
come by being among other gir
ing of their lives, listening to 1
accompaniment of your needli
through the fancy-work that at
yon can only do at night Bu
not sew too much. Indeed, I 1

When Vacation Comes 153

you did not sew any at all, but, instead,
follow up a croquet or tennis ball and grow
healthily warm in your determination to
control it. Let your whole body grow new
and strong through this delightful exercise,
half play, half work.

What to Forget

You must forget all about your work.
That is good for you. You have a false
little pride, too often, of wanting to thrust
in the face of a stranger the fact that you
are a working-girl. Now, what you are is
nobody^s business, and when you meet a
pleasant woman and have a little chat with
her, which, for all you know, may end there,
there is no excuse for tossing your head
back and saying in a half-scornful, half-
proud tone, *'0h, well, I am a working-
girl." She did not ask you what you were ;
she simply began to talk to you pleasantly,
and all that it was necessary for you to be,
as far as the new acquaintance was con-
cerned, was agreeable in return. Of course,
if you get to know people very well there is
wisdom in saying a little something about

154 When Vacation Comes

your life, but usually the people who '.

brought you together have spoken of

I want you to sleep a little later in

morning, forget what your breakfast

to be, and, as far as possible, eat the |

country food and avoid those dishes

you get all the year round. And, my c

try to forget the worries of life. Ba

and truly, I believe what I want you t

during the vacation is a proper little bu

fly dancing from one pleasure to anol

} But remember the butterfly takes the

fume of the roses and not that of the

sonous plants. And so you must eh

the right pleasures. Do not tire you

out with joy, so that you will go bac

town longing for sleep and unfitted

work. Go to bed as Cinderella did, Ik

the clock strikes twelve, and cultivate

beauty sleep.

The Drives and the Walks

Dame Etiquette, who is counted by n
of the girls as a severe old lady,
thoughtful one, and though certain
prevail in certain places, I wish occasioi

When Vacation Comes 155

you would remember her dictates. I know
there are hundreds of good girls who go out
to drive with young men alone, but I do
not like it. And I think you would not
make any enemies if, when you were asked
to go and see the famous falls eight miles
away, you suggested that some other girls
and some other young men be asked, and
that all go together. Then among the girls
could be arranged a nice luncheon basket ;
you could have a little picnic, and it would
be more unselfish and you would have just
as good a time as if you went off with one
young man, and possibly, though it would
all be as innocent as possible, gave rise to
some unpleasant words.

The girl in the village who becomes your
friend has heard of the big city, and has an
idea — a false one — that even nice girls
there do little things that she would think
very awful. Usually her information is
gleaned from letters in the newspapers,
written by people who know nothing of
good society but who must fill the column
of space accorded them. Now, do not you
permit yourself to do anything that is not

156 When Vacation Comes

refined simply because something different
is expected from the city girl. The last
new slang does not sit well on a girl's lips,
even if it is laughed at A stride, a swag-
ger, an air of independence, are a little fast
and do not make you attractive; instead,
only an object of curiosity. By being your
own refined self it may take you a little
longer to make new friends, but you can
be very certain that the friends will be
better worth having.

By the by, do not make the mistake of
buying cheap jewelry to wear in the coun-
try. It is never in good taste, and with
the green grass and the blue skies for a
background it looks positively brassy and
makes you appear vulgar. Avoid all pre-
tence. Do not permit yourself to be mean
enough to say you know people who are
only familiar to you by name, or that you
go to houses of which you have only
read.

Your country friend surprises you by her
willingness to play games, and sometimes
to indulge in rough pleasures that are
strange to you. Here is your opportunity

When Vacation Comes 157

to do good in a pleasant way. Make her
understand how odd it seems to you that
she, who is devoted to Prince Charming,
who expects to marry him in the early
autumn, should, at a picnic, permit her-
self to be kissed by the young man fleet-
footed enough to catch her as he ran
from out of the rope. Ask her if she
has any idea as to her appearance after
this romp : her hair disarranged, her face
flushed, her hat way back on her head,
struggling in this man's arms against the
kiss awarded him in the game. It is not
nice. Decline to play such games, but
decline politely.

The Listless Girl

She is the one who announces that she is
going to loaf all the time, and she does it.
She sleeps extremely late in the morning,
and when she does get up, troubles herself
very little about her appearance, lolls
around listlessly during the day, has no
interest in anything, and is tired all the
time. Now this girl's vacation will do her
no good. She will go back to town as tired

.1 u

■ i

■.•i

■•I <

lb ,

158 When Vacation Comes

as she left, unless, indeed, she is an i1
and this is not often the case. Wh
business girl wants is something to d
something quite different from that
I occupies her at other times. She

to be busy, not lazy, but busy in I
a good time, and a good time meant
I like to think of her as fishing, re
walking and enjoying herself in the
air in every possible way.

Then, too, I want her to take care «
money. She pays her board, and,
properly, gives to a servant who ha
dered her any assistance, a little pr
She pays her share in any pleasure t
to cost each one a stated sum, but she
think out the pleasures she can affor
not permit herself to go back to to
debt, having to send money either 1
people with whom she had been boa:
or to some one from whom she had bor
it. The girl who assumes the burd
debt for the sake of pleasure will ha
real vacation, for she will be womed c
^ i^; the several months that will have tc

before her accounts are square. Duri

When Vacation Comes 159

that time she will have to think how she
can spare a portion of the money she owes
from her small salary, and this constant
fret will make her conclude that next year
she will take no vacation. However, the
wise girl will calculate exactly what she can
spend and not go beyond it. And she will
be the one who will gain most pleasure
because she will have the courage to say
" no " when she cannot afford to say
"yes." It is true a little courage is re-
quired to say the right thing, but each time
it is done it becomes easier, and after awhile
it is no trouble at all.

The Strange Young Man

He is attracted by you because you are
bright and quick and different from the
other girls, and he does everything in his
power to make you have a pleasant time.
It is possible that he says some words that
sound as if he had more than a mere liking
for you, but I do not want you to let that
affectionate heart of yours go out to the
strange young man whose interest in you
may disappear as does the train which

i6o When Vacation Comes

carries you back to every-day life. It is
more than possible that he is attracted to
you, but if he is, and if he thinks that you
are the girl made especially for him, be sure
that he will manage to see you after you
have gone away, and that in time he will
tell you just how much he cares for you.
These lovely summer nights, when the air
is full of perfume, when the moon is like a
great, glowing globe of silver light, and you
and the strange young man are taking a
little walk, all the sentiment in you is
awakened, and he says words that he never
thought of saying, and you listened with
delight. Listen if you will, but do not
always heed.

A Word of Advice

It is about the home-coming. The pleas-
ure-time is over and you must not follow it
with regrets. Tell about it if you will, but
not during the working hours. Your em-
ployer did not give you a vacation that you
might waste your time afterward gossiping
about it with the other employees. Severe?
Well, it is not meant to be so, and I do not

When Vacation Comes i6i

believe the conscientious girl will think it
so. You have brought home with you little
souvenirs of the pleasant hours, and during
the long winter days they make you live
over the happy vacation times. Then, too,
if your friends of the summer should come
to town there will be the pleasure of renew-
ing their acquaintanceship, and as a hos-
pitable girl you will long to give them some
of the city's pleasures. Make them under-
stand that this cannot be done during your
working hours, and placing yourself in this
way in an honest position you can be agree-
able to your friends and yet not suffer from
a single twinge of conscience.

You get blue, possibly, for the pleasant-
ness seems so far away, and you are a bit
tired. When this feeling comes do not
count the days until your next vacation,
but the seasons. For no matter how
black everything may seem, no matter how
long the days are and how hard the work,
good times are bound to come, and that
is what I want you to think. Then the
skies will seem brighter, the days shorter

and the work easier. Just learn to say

1 62 When Vacation Comes

over this little verse — I believe it will
help you : —

** There is ever a song somewhere, my dear.

In the midnight black, or the midday blue ;
The robin pipes when the san is here,

And the cricket chirrups the whole night through.
The buds may blow and the fruit may grow,

And the autumn leaves drop crisp and sere ;
But whether the sun, or the rain, or the snow,

There is ever a song somewhere, my dear.
There is ever a song that our hearts may liear —

There is ever a song somewhere, my dear."

HER EVENING ENJOYMENT

IN the pleasant little town from which
you came everybody knew everybody
else, and during the long summer evenings,
or the cold yet cheery winter ones, you
walked with this girl and visited that girl,
went to the little entertainments given, or
enjoyed a concert or lecture when it came
to town. But you made up your mind that
the little town was not large enough for
you. The delights of a great city spread
themselves before you, and you thought
that earning money there was a something
very easy, while enjoying one's self was a
something that never ended. You remem-
bered the few days when you visited there
— the pleasant little entertainment that
your hostess gave in your honor — and
you thought that all life in the great city
must be a repetition of these pleasures ; yet

164 Her Evening Enjoyment

now that you are there everything seems
different.

Now you are earning twice the income
that would have been possible in the small
town, but you sit alone in the hall room of
your boarding-house and wonder when you
will be sleepy enough to go to bed, when
the evening will be over, and if there is
anything pleasant in the life of the business
girl.

The Reasons for Your Loneliness

It seems to you that the few people with
whom you are acquainted do not trouble
themselves about you, although you notified
each one of them of your coming. The
truth is, that they fully intended to make a
few hours of your life pleasant, but each
one had her own large circle of acquaint-
ances, in which, with your lack of knowledge
of the world's ways, you did not seem to
fit, and so you were forgotten. At your
business place you hear the other girls talk
about going out, and about the good times
they have. Once you did have a pleasant
time when you were invited by one of your

Her Evening Enjoyment 165

companions, who lived out of town, to come
out while the apple blossoms were in bloom
and spend Sunday with her, and yet, though
she was most kindly, it made you remember
home and its joys so plainly that you were
not so agreeable a companion as you might
have been. You did not explain the reason,
and so you have not been asked to repeat
the visit.

You wonder if all your life is going to be
spent in this lonely way. You wonder if
there would be any harm in going down into
the boarding-house parlor and listening to
the pleasant music, the muffled sound of
which comes up the staircase. I wish you
would go down and, once having reached
the room in which the young members of
the house have assembled, be pleasant to
aU.

A Good Way to Select Your Friends

In the large city you soon begin to wonder
how you will ever get to know anybody, or
whether you will be solitary all your life.
Turn your thoughts back to the time in the
early autmnn when the apples were gath«

1 66 Her Evening Enjoyment

ered. Do you remember how they were
gone over, and those that were rich in color,
sweet of perfume, and graceful of form in
their healthiness were chosen as the best
and kept for some special purpose. You
must pick out your friends as you did the
apples, choosing to have those which are
not only agreeable, not only pleasant, but
the ones which are warranted to keep.

The first girl to whom you have taken a
fancy is eager to have you join the club to
which she belongs. She tells you of the
pleasant hours spent there, of the interest-
ing classes, of the nice girls that one may
meet there, and of the pleasant women who
manage it. The membership fee is a small
one, and, thinking of your lonely evenings,
you join the club. Now understand, I do
not object, — in fact, I approve of the
average club arranged for and by busy girls,
— but too often the business girl allows the
club to become the one idea of her life,
and where she had expected to broaden she
grows narrower.

In every club there are a few strong
minds that seem to control all the others ;

Her Evening Enjoyment 167

they make opinions, and in such a way
that the contradiction of them seems an
impossibility. You know the type of girl
I mean : the one who reads a paper in which
there is never a doubt expressed, but in
which there is a positive assertion that the
writer knows everything, and consequently
is right. I hope that if you do join the club
you will spend more of your time talking to
other pleasant girls, chatting about light,
agreeable topics, or, if you please, talking
in a conversational manner about some
great question of the day, rather than join-
ing a class for which papers must be pre-
pared and in which discussions are rampant*
After a busy day you are in no condition to
write papers, or even to discuss them.

Some Pleasures Which Will Comb

TO You

Gradually, as you gain friends, the law
of hospitality will govern first one and then
another, and, having been found pleasant,
you will be asked to visit at the home of
each. Perhaps one of these girls may have
a real home, where, after her day's work»

1 68 Her Evening Enjoyment

she is met by a kind mother and greeted by
the children, and though they live in what
to your country-bred eyes seems a •small
space, still, to the city girl it counts as a
large one, which is made by willing hands
and loving hearts into a home. The other
girl, like you, lives in the hall room of a
boarding-house, and yet, on your arrival,
you find two or three other pleasant girls
there, and everybody is in the midst of a
game. The bed is evidently a closed one,
for none is in sight, while on a fancy table
is a brass kettle, which, later, sings merrily
as it boils the water for a pot of chocolate,
a dish of little cakes, and some pretty little
cups and saucers. You all have a jolly
evening. The next day, talking it over
with your hostess of the night before, you
find out how a few cents saved from this
and a few cents from that has paid for the
pretty belongings ; how little the chocolate
costs ; and how the pretty cups and saucers
have been picked up as bargains. A good
example being contagious, you begin to
think how you will arrange to entertain;
then you remember there are some unused^

Her Evening Enjoyment 169

old-fashioned cups that you are sure would
be sent to you from home, that will not
only attract by their prettiness, but will
have a special charm to you, at least,
because of their association.

The Amusements Which You May Have

One night the girl who walked home with
you — for she lived near you — asked if
you would not like to join two or three of
them and go to the opera the next night.
Your eyes grew enormously large and you
Btared at her in amazement. "Go to the
opera ! " Why, the seats alone cost five
dollars, and then you have to be finely
dressed, and have a carriage, and how could
you do that? Your companion laughed and
laughed again as you told her your reasons
for declining, and then said, " Of course, I
do not want to ask you to go, if you have
not saved a little amusement money, but
we girls lay aside so much each week —
sometimes saving it, sometimes feeling that
we can put it in our amusement fund — and
with it we are able to hear the best music,
to see the best plays, and to go to any

lyo Her Evening Enjoyment

exhibition of pictures. At the opera we do
not occupy five-dollar seats. Instead, we
go early, pay the lowest price that is asked,
and sit up nearly to the skies ; but we hear
the music and see the play, as well as all
the lovely women. Two or three of us,
who are real music lovers, would gladly
give up a new gown any time for the sake
of this pleasure which we take so simply.
If you feel that you would be ashamed to sit
up among the quietly dressed people, among
the. real music lovers, then do not accept
my invitation." Here she put her hand on
your shoulder and added, " If seeing mag-
nificent jewels will make you envious you
will have to give up many pleasures."

You promise to let her know the next
day, and an examination of your pocket-
book proved that the amusement was possi-
ble. When the time came you were waiting
for your friend, neatly dressed and eager to
see and hear all the wonders of the musical
story. Next day you wrote home a long
letter, telling of your delightful evening and
how the lady sitting near you had loaned
you her libretto and her opera-glasses.

Her Evening Enjoyment 171

When You May Go to the Theatre

Two weeks later your friend asked you if
you would like to go to the theatre and hear
a famous play, one written by the hand of
that William Shakespeare whose name will
never be forgotten. You have always felt
that going to the theatre was wrong. So it
is when it eaters to what is vicious, when it
pictures vice as beautiful, and goodness
and honesty as worth nothing ; but I do not
believe, provided you do not allow your
liking for the theatre to control you, that
the listening to a play like that wonderful
story of '' The Merchant of Venice," with
its beautiful lines ; that quaint, tender, and
weird story of " Rip Van Winkle," with its
repentant sinner, or that latter-day romance
of '' The Little Minister," will do anything
but waken that which is best in you.

I do not believe the most sensitive girl
can be made anything except good by such
plays, while the best girl is made better,
because she hears the tribute given to
goodness. But if that wise mentor of yours,
your conscience, tells you to stay away

172 Her Evening Enjoyment

from the theatre, do it, because we must
decide for ourselves, and what is right for
one may be wrong for another.

An Invitation Which You May Accept

At the club to which you belong there is
a dancing-class, and twenty or thirty girls
have learned to make their feet keep time
to the gay, bright music, and you who seem
to find in music your greatest delight have
had more real pleasure out of the dancing-
class than anything else connected with the
club. One day you find among your letters
a little invitation to a dance to be given by
a girl who, like you, is in business, but who
lives away in the upper part of the town in
an old-fashioned house, and is only one of
a large family that makes the keeping of
the old home a possibility. The invitation
is to a dance, and the courtesy of an an-
swer is requested. You know you must
accept or decline as soon as possible, and
for a little while you wonder what you
ought to do. At home there was seldom
much dancing at the little entertainments
given, but long before you left you had

Her Evening Enjoyment 173

stopped going to these parties, because you
could not believe there was anything refined
in rough games, or in those that had for
their chief attraction something in the way
of a kissing contest.

When You Must Let Your Conscience

Decide

But right here you must be guided by the
little mentor, Conscience ; for, if you think
dancing a sin, it becomes one for you to in-
dulge in it. But if you accept the invitation
you will probably find everbody pleasant
and agreeable, and if by chance there are
not as many young men as there are girls
present, you will have a merry time ,as a
ribbon is tied on your arm and you are asked
to act as a gentleman to fill up the set.

Now, my dear girl, while I do not dis-
approve of a simple dance in a real home, I
must advice you never to go to a public
ball. I mean one where Tom, Dick and
Harry can buy tickets, and where one may
meet both men and women whose acquaint-
ance is most undesirable.

There should be some quiet evenings at

174 Her Evening. Enjoyment

home, too, for, although as a girl you have
a right to the pleasures of life, there must
be one or two evenings in a week devoted
to thinking how you may improve yourself
so that you will be of more value to your
employer, and how, by reading and by lis-
tening to good speakers, you may become a
more intelligent woman. Think out some
of the pleasures of life and partake of them
joyously, because, if you have nothing in
life but business and solitude, you will
amount to little in either the business or
social world. A girl needs pleasure as a
flower does sunshine; but there are days
when the sun seems to shine, though in
a dull, heavy way, when the air seems
weighted with an unpleasant mist which
makes roses droop. The overpowering heat
is too much for them. So it is with a girl
who thinks of nothing but her pleasure.

What These Innocent Pleasures Mean

TO You

Your evening of enjoyment means much
to you because, for a while, business and
its cares are forgotten, and in the morning

Her Evening Enjoyment 175

you are clearer of brain and can better
battle with the problem that, last evening,
when you were tired out, seemed absolutely
incomprehensible. But the evening of
pleasure indulged in too often will bring
you to the oflSce tired and worn out, and
unable to do your work properly. There-
fore remember, my dear girl, that it is the
use, and not the abuse, of pleasure which
will make your life happy, your work a
delight, and your employer satisfied with
you.

Too many of our so-called good people,
desire to make the world, especially the
world of young girls, a dismal, dreary one,
in which there is no enjoyment, and where
all life is work and work, with nothing to
lighten the burden. It is not strange that
girls who are forced to live such lives grow
to be deceitful, or in time break the bonds
by which they are confined and lead lives
where pleasure is abused. But this dear,
busy girl of mine, working away all the day
long, with a thought of helping somebody
else, can have her evenings of enjoyment;
and knowing what real enjoyment is, she

176 Her Evening Enjoyment

will not have a single pang of consciencey
for, just as soon as that wise little mentor
speaks, she knows it is time to stop and
listen. As long as you listen and are
advised by him you need not fear that you
will go in the wrong way. The minute that
you realize that any pleasure is making you
uncharitable or envious you must stop, and
stop quickly.

Use, but do not Abuse, Your
Opportunities

For mental and physical reasons there
may be pleasures that, while they are meat
to your neighbor, are poison to you. Avoid
all such pleasures. Do not allow yourself
to think over them, and then you will not
long for them. Remember that the best
part of every pleasure is the giving of en-
joyment to somebody else. At the opera,
between the music, be glad that you have
the opportunity of looking at the wonderful
costumes and the beautiful jewels, but laugh
to yourself as you wonder what on earth
you would do if you had to take care of
them. The woman who owns them can get

Her Evening Enjoyment 177

no more pleasure out of them than you, for
she can only look at them, and that is your
privilege also. Envy kills pleasure, while
consideration increases it twofold. She
who has malice and envy at her heart can
never know an hour of true enjoyment*

176 Her Evening Enjoyment

will not have a single pang of conscience,
for, just as soon as that wise little mentor
speaks, she knows it is time to stop and
listen. As long as you listen and are
advised by him you need not fear that you
will go in the wrong way. The minute that
you realize that any pleasure is making you
uncharitable or envious you must stop, and
stop quickly.

Use, but do not Abuse, Your
Opportunities

THE NEW YORK PUBLIC LIBRARY

RBPBRBNGB DEPARTMBNT

This book is under no circumstances to bi
taken from the Building

'wrui 41*

-V

■•■ -v. 7

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